it all came down to you and i
by summertimesadness
Summary: AU: "So we're going to have a baby together, but we're not going to get married and then continue to live our lives the way we have been? Remind me again why we're going through with this?" Finn and Rachel decide on an alternative way to start a family - separately.
1. I

**Hi all!**

**I know I recently started a new story, but I hit a major block with it and thought I would try a different idea for the time being. I'll probably make an attempt at the other story later on, but for now, I thought I would try my hand at a lighter story than the last one (especially considering the last story I completed!). This story is loosely based off of the movie **_**Friends with Kids **_**– which, if you haven't seen it yet, I suggest you do! **

**As always, feedback is much appreciated!**

* * *

Rachel's never had much luck with neighbors in her building.

Sure, there had been that one time when she met the one blonde guy with the huge lips that helped her put her bed together (and then proceeded to come up with an extremely crude pick-up line regarding her and the need to 'break in' her new mattress), but other than that, she's always drawn the short stick and ended up with someone crazy.

And she's been called crazy before by other people she's shared apartment floors with, so she knows what the actual definition of the word is.

So when Finn had moved in, she was weary of getting to know him. There had been a part of her that was afraid of him being a serial killer or an avid collector of something crazy or a stalker of some random C-list celebrity, so on her walk to his apartment with her freshly-baked banana bread in tow, she went through a mental list of all of the great things that meeting a new person could entail. Besides, it couldn't have been that bad if he wasn't already blaring music she could hear through the floor.

Finn wasn't crazy, clearly. She thought he was hilarious and he thought that she was pretty and that her banana bread was delicious. They ended up bonding over the fact that they had both had nightmares for neighbors in buildings before and their love for Adam Sandler movies (even though Rachel had denied it at first).

She had finally gotten someone to live underneath her who was normal, the friendship just thrown in as an added bonus. She really couldn't have asked for more.

:.:.:

"Eaten alive by spiders or rats?"

Rachel looks at him with a scowl. "That's disgusting." She starts to laugh. "You're disgusting. You can't even be eaten alive by spiders."

"How do you even know that's true?" He looks at her and folds his arms over his chest, leaning back in the large booth in the back of the restaurant. "Anyway, answer. Spiders or rats?"

She contemplates the idea for a moment, fingers drumming against her wine glass. They've gone through difficult ones before, but this one's hard. Not the most disgusting one he's come up with, but if it could go on a shelf of 'worst would you rathers,' she would put it closer to the top.

"Are the spiders poisonous?"

"Yes."

She furrows her brow. "Do the rats have the plague?"

Finn looks at her, confused. "Wait, the plague – no, Rachel. They don't have the plague. What difference does it make?"

"Well, if the rats have the plague, it means that when they eat me, they'll leave the disease in my body. So if I'm living with someone, chances are that they'll get sick and die too."

Finn laughs. "You're not living with anyone, though."

"Alright, so I don't want my cat to get sick." Finn laughs. "Spiders, then, I guess."

She makes a face and Finn looks at her, a stupid smile stuck to his face. "Really?" He takes a sip from his beer. "Because spiders are disgusting, Rachel. Think of all of the little legs and pinchers all over your body…" He makes a face and tries to frighten her; waving his fingers at her across the booth. "At least rats are furry."

"That makes it worse!" She shrieks, lowering her voice down to a whisper. "Spiders. Just drop it. We're about to eat, Finn."

He scoffs and rolls his eyes, starting to dig into his pockets for his phone. "Kurt texted me ten minutes ago and said that they were on their way. I guess traffic's a bitch."

"Yeah," she says, staring down at her phone. She's reading the same message Kurt's sent Finn, a frown growing onto her face. She looks up at him; her stomach feeling like it's tying itself into a knot. "We should just start ordering. At least an appetizer or something. I'm starving."

The two of them look down at their menus and contemplate them for a while, Finn nudging her underneath the table.

"You're still going through that vegan phase, aren't you?" She rolls her eyes and puts the menu down.

"I don't think a phase is something you've been practicing for twelve years, but you can believe what you want to believe." She looks at him and laughs, taking a sip of her wine. "Oh, hey," she starts, setting her glass back down on the table. "Wasn't Sugar supposed to come with you tonight?" She crosses her legs underneath the table. "I mean, that's what Quinn told me over the phone."

She watches as Finn blushes and starts playing nervously with his beer. "Yeah, well, she was _supposed _to come, but, you know, she just didn't… it's not really…"

"You broke up with her, didn't you?" She scoffs and starts to laugh. "Finn, that's what, the third girl in the past three months?" She shakes her head. "That's crazy."

"Yeah, but you met this one, Rachel. She wasn't what I was looking for."

Rachel rolls her eyes. "None of them are ever what you're looking for." She looks up from her wine glass for a moment and sees Kurt and Blaine walking through the crowds of people and rows of tables in front of them, offering them a wave from their booth.

Kurt smiles and they both sit down in the long, wraparound booth that Finn and Rachel have saved for them, scooting in on Finn's side.

"Hi," Kurt says, panting heavily. "Sorry we're late. Traffic was ridiculous."

"Oh, it's nothing," Rachel tells him, reaching for his hands across the table. "We're just glad you guys showed up."

"Yeah, really. Rachel was pretty hungry though. She'd eat the table if it were 'vegan friendly' enough." Finn looks at her, adding in air quotes where necessary. Kurt and Blaine start to laugh and she rolls her eyes, kicking him across the table.

"Whatever," she says, picking up her menu again. "We're all here for the most part, so why don't we just order?" She flubs her lips as her eyes scan over the menu. "I mean, who knows if Puck and Quinn are even going to show up-"

"Oh, they're already here." Blaine starts to laugh, unfolding his napkin in his lap. "They've been here for the past twenty minutes."

Finn looks at Kurt and they both start laughing while Rachel shoots each of them a confused look. "Wait, what do you-"

"Are they doing that _again_?" Kurt leans across the table and grabs Finn's beer, taking a sip. "Oh, my God, I can't believe either of them."

Rachel's still confused. "What?"

Finn starts laughing as he looks at her. "Rachel, they're in the bathroom and they've been-"

He's cut off by Puck and Quinn walking out to their booth, holding hands and looking more like they're stumbling over than walking in a straight path. Rachel looks at Finn and he makes an obscene hand gesture, causing her to kick him underneath the table.

"Hi!" Quinn beams, fixing her hair that's mussed in the back. "Sorry we're late." Rachel smiles and wraps an arm around Quinn as she slides into the booth next to her, Puck flanking her on the opposite side. She looks at Puck and puts a hand on his shoulder, scrunching her nose as she gives him a smile. Rachel's always been fascinated by the dynamics of Puck and Quinn's relationship. "Traffic, right?" The blonde leans in to Rachel and gives her a peck on the cheek. "Great to see you!"

Finn continues to give Rachel the same glare and she rolls her eyes at him before giving Quinn the same smile she had given her earlier. They all exchange pleasantries and waiter passes by them, Kurt flagging him down to order drinks for the rest of the table.

"I see you've already gotten started," Puck notes, looking at Finn and Rachel. "Is your job stressing you out that much, Rach?" She sighs and takes another sip of wine.

"No," she says, sticking her tongue out at him slightly. "At least I'm not going to have a beer gut by the time I'm thirty."

They all laugh at the table and Kurt and Blaine light up, looking across the table at Rachel with big, bright smiles. "How's everything going with work anyway, Rachel?" Blaine folds his hands together on the table and leans over towards her, Kurt grabbing onto his arm. "I saw you guys on the _Today _show the other morning, and it was amazing."

"Things are going great," she says, taking another sip of wine. "The show's doing great, and I've lost five pounds, too, so there's that." Quinn laughs and pokes her in the side.

"You don't even need to lose five pounds, Rachel. You look great." They laugh and their waiter comes back with their drink orders. "Speaking of looking great, Kurt, Blaine, you two are simply glowing." Quinn takes a sip of her drink and giggles slightly. "Have you said anything yet?"

Rachel and Finn exchange glances and laugh for a moment, looking over at Kurt and Blaine. They're both smiling; looking like they're hiding a secret that neither of them can bother hiding anymore.

"Our adoption papers went through," Kurt exclaims, bursting with excitement. "We're going to have a baby by the end of the summer."

Finn watches Rachel as her eyes go wide, but his do the exact same. "Oh, my God, Kurt, that's great!" She grabs him by the hand and squeezes it from across the table, Quinn looking over to Puck and exchanging a smile with him. "Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Oh, we just wanted it to be a surprise," Blaine says, looking at Kurt.

"We knew," Quinn says. "And we were going to tell you guys, Rach, but we just figured that it would be smarter for Kurt and Blaine to do it themselves, and-"

"No, that's great! I mean, I don't know who else I would rather hear it from, so that's great. Just great." Rachel raises her wine glass above them and smiles. "To Kurt and Blaine, the best future parents ever!" The rest of them at the table raise their glasses and toast the two of them, Finn taking a longer sip from his beer than anyone else at the table.

Rachel looks at him for a moment, giving him a knowing glance.

"So, who's hungry?"

:.:.:

_**Two years later**_

Finn expects phone calls past ten at night. There's always the occasional one from his mom or Kurt's dad from time to time, but by the time the hands on the clock reached ten and twelve, he knows that it's safe to say that his phone won't be ringing at all until the morning.

That is, of course, with the exception of Rachel.

His phone lights up on his nightstand and buzzes at a volume that he's sure isn't hardly as loud as he truly thinks it would be if he felt like he was fully conscious.

The picture on the caller ID says it all, he thinks.

"What?"

"I totally forgot that it's your birthday tomorrow," she says, voice sounding frantic. He can hear background noise behind her; deciding that she's out shopping. "What was it that you wanted?"

He sits up in bed and rubs his eyes, yawning. "You know, I've heard – and it's just a theory, but I've heard that birthday presents are supposed to be surprises."

"I know, I know," she says. She's standing in the middle of a Target, hands trying to find a way to manage her phone, purse and bag all at the same time. "It's just that we didn't have to go out after the show tonight, and I got to Target right before they closed, so I'm not going to waste a trip. That, and it's too late to be creative." A woman in a red polo and khakis walks past the aisle she's standing in and shoots her a look, causing Rachel to start giggling into the phone. "And now the woman who let me in is stalking me like she's going to kill me Buffalo Bill style, so I'd appreciate it if you'd just tell me what it was you wanted."

Finn laughs and sits upright in his bed, sighing. "A blonde, big boobs, long legs, and single. Bonus points if she's French."

Rachel laughs dryly. "Yeah, I was shooting for something I could buy without being arrested for soliciting a prostitute, but you know, you were creative, so I have to give you props for that one."

"No one's given anyone 'props' since the late nineties."

They both laugh and Finn groans. "A toaster oven."

She smiles and peels out of the aisle she's standing in. "Done."

:.:.:

They've all changed a lot in two years. And not just in a normal way that you would expect someone in their twenties to change in that they've thinned out a bit and have become more established at their job and start making more money. They've all changed.

Blaine and Kurt's adoption pulls through and they have a beautiful little girl from England, which Finn's expressed his feelings about Rachel on multiple occasions. He claims that when you adopt a kid that they're supposed to come from China, because that's where everyone's adopted kid comes from, but Rachel tells him that he should just shut up and not say anything about it. At least he's not asking why the baby isn't born addicted to tea and crumpets and has a British accent even though she's three.

Puck and Quinn got pregnant a year ago, and have a beautiful baby girl. All anyone talks about anymore are their kids, and how they need to schedule their lives around their kids and how 'Finn and Rachel don't get it because they're just successful and haven't gotten married and had kids yet.'

And part of it is true, anyway. Finn and Rachel don't have kids and they've both worked on their jobs for the past two years.

"I just think that we should call them first," Rachel says, holding Finn's unwrapped gift in her lap. "I mean, last time we went over, they were busy with Charlotte, and I just don't want to run into that whole problem again."

Finn laughs and looks back at Rachel after looking out the window of the subway. "Yeah, but we're already showing up twenty minutes late. It's not like they have ten kids or anything. We'll be fine."

"I know, I just… I worry about it sometimes. Like, last time, when Kurt got upset, I just…" She sighs and drums her fingers against the toaster oven box in her lap. "It totally sucks."

They sit there for a while without saying anything, Rachel kicking her feet against the floor. "I mean, you know, look at it this way: we don't have kids, and we turned out perfectly fine." Rachel turns her head to look at Finn and nods along slowly. "Sure, we don't have kids to look after and raise, or whatever, but we can go out for drinks whenever we want, and you can do your eight shows a week, and I get to date whoever I want."

Rachel reasons with him in her head for a moment, contemplating the idea. "It's just… I want a kid, eventually. They seem so happy with their kids, and I want that. It's just the whole dating thing that I have to get over first."

Finn looks down at her. "What about that guy on your floor? The blonde one?" Rachel starts laughing at him.

"No," she says plainly. "He's a womanizer, Finn. I'm not about to go into that kind of relationship with someone."

They look at one another and she sighs, fingers still drumming against the box that holds his birthday present. Finn waits for a moment before saying anything and turns away from her, sighing.

"When was the last time you went out on a date, Rachel?"

She lets the question roll around in her head for a moment before answering him. She tips her head up and looks at him meekly. "A month ago."

He looks back at her knowingly. "But when was the last time you had sex?"

Her mouth falls open and she swats him on the arm. "We're on a subway, Finn."

"When was the last time?"

She knows that he thinks this is just a big game, and she doesn't appreciate how he thinks that this is funny and entertaining to embarrass her like this. By now, she thinks that she would be accustomed to handling situations like this with him, but she hasn't. Every time Finn brings up something regarding her sex life or how her life in the dating world is extremely lacking (more than she'd like, if she's being completely honest with herself), her face turns bright red and she starts giggling like she's gone crazy.

She sighs and her eyes fall shut, knowing that she has to tell him. If she doesn't, he'll just keep on badgering her all night until she does.

"Six months."

"Wow," he says, giving her mock applause. She pushes at his hands and makes a face. "Congrats, Rachel."

She hates him. She doesn't know why they're best friends.

:.:.:

By the time that they show up at the door of Kurt and Blaine's apartment, they realize that walking around the building one more time or taking the longer subway route would have been a better idea that what they're doing.

Kurt answers the door frantically, offering both Finn and Rachel a strained smile as he lets them in. "Hi," he says, panting and catching his breath. "We're… we're almost ready."

Rachel looks over Kurt's shoulder and notices a worn-down Blaine with Charlotte in his arms, seeming to be making a fuss about something that she can't see.

"Shit, Kurt, are we too early, or-"

"No, we're fine," Kurt says, letting Finn and Rachel inside. "Charlotte's just having an episode that she thought would be perfect to have right before you guys came over." Rachel smiles and places the box down by the doorway to free her arms so she can wrap Kurt in a hug. He slowly softens up and smiles, hugging her back. "Great to see you, though. You got out of your show tonight?" Rachel nods.

"Well, it's Monday, so I didn't have one, and I figured that I would come anyway." She smiles and turns to face Finn, grabbing the bottle of wine from his hands. "We brought this for you," she says, presenting Kurt with it. "It's not the best, but it's something, and we-"

"Oh, you didn't have to," Kurt says, taking the wine and walking into the kitchen with them following behind. "Happy birthday, by the way, Finn."

"Yeah, thanks," Finn says, eyes following Blaine around the living room as he tries to silence Charlotte. "Hey, um, do you need any help with her, man?"

"No, I think she's fine, she just needs to be put down for bed." Kurt looks over his shoulder at Blaine for a moment, looking at him with an upset expression on his face. "Why isn't she in bed yet?"

"She won't settle down," Blaine says, his voice strained. "I've tried everything, Kurt, and she won't fall asleep."

Finn and Rachel walk further into the kitchen as Kurt walks back over to Blaine, laughing slightly. "Why don't you sing to her?" Finn asks, elbowing Rachel in the side. She rolls her eyes and laughs slightly, opening up the door to the refrigerator.

"I don't think they'd be happy if I stepped in and tried to become the mom to their kid, Finn." They stand next to one another, the comically tall next to the impossibly small, eyeing the freshly prepared salad and burgers ready to be put on the grill (Rachel's veggie burger sitting on its own plate, of course), along with the coveted raspberry cheesecake waiting to be cut into sitting on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator, a collection of candles sticking out of it. "Besides, I'm not a mom. I'd probably make an excellent one, but I'm not a mom. For now, I'm really good at taking Charlotte to the zoo and giving her tours around backstage when shows are over. If they handed her to me with a dirty diaper, I wouldn't know what to do."

Finn laughs and looks down at her before pulling the bowl of fruit salad out of the fridge, removing the plastic wrap that covers it neatly. "Geez, it was just a suggestion. Who are you, the parent police?"

Before she can respond, Kurt's rushing back towards them in the kitchen, waving his hands all over the place and insisting that they stop doing what they're doing because 'they're fine, and they don't need any help.'

"Nonsense," Rachel tell him, reaching in for the platter of hamburgers and setting it on the island in the middle of the kitchen. "We're happy to help, Kurt. Promise."

The next twenty minutes are a jumble of Kurt and Rachel working in the kitchen to make sure that everything looks as perfect as it can be (they're all just friends, after all) while Finn sits on the couch and pages through the channels on the TV, claiming that he doesn't need to help because he doesn't get cable on his own TV and that it's his birthday, to which Kurt and Rachel roll their eyes and ignore. Blaine eventually comes around the corner of the apartment, treading lightly as he looks at the group in the kitchen.

"She's asleep," he says, his voice caught in a whisper and a look of confidence on his face. "We should be able to talk at a regular volume in about twenty minutes, but she's asleep." Kurt smiles and Rachel follows suit, Blaine turning to face Finn on the couch.

"Oh, and, um, happy birthday, man. How old are you turning again?"

Finn cranes his neck up to look back at Blaine from the couch. "Twenty eight," he says, the words looking like they strike a chord with him. Kurt and Rachel share a glance and start laughing at his expense.

"It's not like we're turning thirty," Kurt reminds him. "Well, I mean, you only have two years left, but at least _Rachel and I _aren't turning thirty any time soon." Rachel smiles and picks up the bowl of fruit salad and brings it to the table. She sets it down and pops a strawberry into her mouth before looking at Finn on the couch.

"Just think, you've already passed the halfway mark until you turn fifty. You still have a lot of years left."

"So have you!" Finn retorts, standing up and turning the TV off before walking into the kitchen. "What did you do with the wine you brought?" Kurt gestures towards the refrigerator and Finn makes his way towards it. Before he can make it to the kitchen, however, the doorbell rings.

And it rings again.

And again.

"Puck and Quinn are here," Blaine says matter-of-factly, walking towards the door. Kurt makes a face and looks at Blaine quickly before he turns the corner to the door, putting on a smile before he turns the corner.

Rachel looks over at Kurt, her voice low. "What's up with that?"

"Oh, they've just been… different lately, that's all." She tips her head to the side. "And not in a completely horrible way, they're just not… they're not really the same anymore. It's not the end of the world, really. It just gets frustrating after a while."

He looks like he's about to fume when the sound of a crying baby enters the room.

"Sorry," Quinn says, carrying the baby carrier in her hands, a screaming red baby inside, neatly wrapped in a pink blanket. "Our sitter flaked out on us."

"Oh, it's nothing," Blaine assures them, ushering them inside and closing the door behind them. "Believe me, we've had nights where we don't have anyone to watch Charlotte, and it's horrible." They walk inside and Puck walks in behind her, a tired look on his face.

"Yeah, we would normally ask Finn or Rachel, but, you know." He walks over to Finn and wraps his arm around him, bringing him close. "Happy birthday, man."

Finn thanks him and they all try to talk over the sound of the screaming baby, Puck eventually stopping everyone by raising his voice over the crowd.

"Quinn, why don't you take care of the baby, hmm?" Finn and Rachel watch as Quinn looks up at Puck from the baby's face, glaring at him angrily.

"She's hungry."

"Well, would it kill you to feed her?"

"Maybe you should feed her."

The room falls silent as the tension in the room builds and Puck takes the baby from Quinn's arms, making his way through the apartment towards a spare room, door shutting behind it. Kurt and Rachel look at Quinn, who just shakes her head, putting on a forced smile.

"It's fine," she assures them, pushing her hair back into the messy bun it's in at the nape of her neck. "We're just tired, that's all." She starts to laugh. "She's been like that all night."

Rachel smiles and walks over to Quinn to wrap her in an embrace. "Well, dinner's almost ready," she says sweetly. "I can get the wine out, and-"

"Oh, it's fine," she says, shaking her head. "I said that I wasn't going to drink tonight, just because… well, just because." The blonde turns over her shoulder and looks at Finn with a tight smile on her face. "Happy birthday, Finn!"

Finn smiles and walks into Quinn for an embrace, hugging her tightly. "Yeah, thanks."

"Hey, weren't you supposed to bring a girl tonight?" She pauses for a moment, racking her brain for the correct name. "Chelsea, or Chandler, or something…"

"No," he says, voice curt. "I mean, I was, I just-"

"He broke up with another girl before their six week anniversary again," Rachel pipes from the kitchen.

Quinn puts her hands on her hips and makes a face. "You're a catch, Finn. And, I mean, I know that sounds cheesy, but there are lots of girls who I'm sure would love to date you. We live in New York. Isn't that like, the single capital of America?"

"I think she's making that up," Kurt tells Rachel under his breath. She giggles.

"Anyway, I have this friend from work, and she's just perfect for you, and I can give her your number if you'd like. I think you'd really like her."

Finn just shakes his head and smiles.

He doesn't need another reminder about how he's still single. He's already at a birthday party with his four best married friends, anyway.

:.:.:

The night wears on and it starts out really, really well – the wine that Rachel's brought is actually really good despite the price she's paid for it, and the food is delicious and the company is fine for the most part. Around an hour and a half into everything, Beth starts to cry again and Puck and Quinn decide to leave, already in an argument before they're out the door.

And then, Kurt falls asleep on the couch before they can even light the candles on Finn's cake, leaving just Blaine and Rachel to sing for him, and it turns into a really bleak and depressing affair.

At least he's not thirty yet, Finn thinks.

"I still can't believe you've never seen _Driving Miss Daisy_," Rachel says, walking back into the living room of her apartment with a bowl of popcorn and the beers she'd promised. "I mean, it's a classic, Finn. Jessica Tandy, Patti LuPone…"

"I forgot that the guy that plays the driver is Morgan Freeman," he says, setting the case of the VHS back down on Rachel's coffee table. "That's pretty awesome."

Rachel smiles and finds her place on the couch next to him. They decided after leaving Blaine and Kurt's around nine-thirty that they would retreat back to her apartment for a beer (and a movie after Rachel had discovered on the subway that Finn had never seen _Driving Miss Daisy_). She laughs and pops a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

"God, did you see Puck and Quinn tonight?"

"I thought we were going to watch a movie?"

Finn gives her a knowing look. "You know that whenever we start to watch a movie, we just end up talking through the entire thing." Rachel scowls. "Just think of it like a commentary."

"A commentary pertains to the film in question, Finn. Not our friends."

He gives her a look before reaching for the remote on the coffee table. "There. The volume's down. We can talk."

"But you haven't even seen-"

"I can watch it on Netflix," he says. "You can't tell me that you didn't think that Puck and Quinn were acting weird tonight.

Rachel sighs and tucks her feet underneath her. "Their babysitter crapped out on them, Finn. You can't be mad at _them _for something like that."

"I'm not mad; I'm just saying that they were on edge the entire night. That's all." He laughs. "I mean, I love both of them, but every time I see them, it just makes me glad that I don't have kids."

Rachel looks down into her lap and starts to play with the hem of her shorts. "I don't see what's so bad about kids," she says, her voice soft.

"I thought you didn't want kids."

"I didn't," she says. "I mean, I didn't at first, just because I wanted my career to take off. I have a career now." Finn laughs. "And, I wouldn't mind if I could have a baby."

"This sounds like a confession," Finn says excitedly. "Go on, Rach. This is fun."

Rachel rolls her eyes and laughs bitterly. "I wouldn't mind being a mom," she says. "I mean, I told you tonight, I think I would make a good one if I had to be. I just don't have… the mean to have a kid."

Finn sighs and looks at Rachel, a half smile on his face. "Well, I mean, it's not like you were crazy and just chose to get pregnant from the last guy you dated." She smiles and looks up at him. "Because, you know, some girls do that." He takes a swig of his beer. "Can't you just adopt a kid?"

She shakes her head. "Adoption is nearly impossible when you're a single woman in her twenties with a job that keeps you busy every night except for Mondays."

"Well, look at it this way," he says, taking a sip of beer. "If you have a kid, it means that nine times out of ten, you're married or you have a life partner or whatever. Chances are that relationship was awesome before the kid, right? Like, sex every night, no going in the shower together just because it's 'convenient,' being able to shave your legs because you don't have to worry about going to PTA meetings, okay? Well, once you have a kid, that entire thing you've got going with another person goes to shit." Rachel nearly chokes on her beer and shoots him a look.

"That is _not _true."

"Oh yeah? Look at Puck and Quinn, Rach. They used to fuck-"

"Don't call it that."

"Okay, they used to have sex in the bathrooms of airplanes, Rachel. Fucking airplanes. You don't get to do that once you're married with a kid."

Rachel turns to face him, a confused look on her face. "So, you're saying that it would be easier to just have a kid, without being married or anything?"

"Yeah," he says, the idea stirring in his head. "That way, you can have the kid, and you can spend the rest of your life trying to find the right person you want to spend the rest of your life with."

Rachel looks at him laughing, mouth agape. "You can do that, you know. It's called having a bastard."

"Okay, why don't you get out of your time machine from 1902, okay?" She laughs and looks at the TV. "Just hear me out on this. You find someone smart, almost like a surrogate type thing, to have your kid, because that way you know that they're the perfect person to have a kid with. Then, you both have a happy kid, and you're free to go find someone else to spend the rest of your life with."

"Okay," she says, getting up on her knees and turning to face him. "So that would make us ideal candidates to have a kid together, then." She watches his face as she surprises him. "If I use your logic, anyway."

"Fine," he says, setting his beer down on the coffee table. "Let's have a kid together."

Rachel looks at him suspiciously, furrowing her brow.

"I'm totally kidding."

She swats at his chest and leans back down on the couch, taking a sip of her beer. "Just watch the movie," she says, rolling her eyes.

:.:.:

Rachel gets woken up by her phone buzzing on her nightstand around midnight, rattling her awake and causing her hand to absently grab for it in the dark.

It's Finn, naturally.

"Hello?"

She can hear him sigh on the other end, building to up to what he's about to say.

"What if I wasn't kidding?"


	2. II

Rachel sits upright in her bed, holding her phone to her ear. She doesn't believe what she's hearing. "What do you mean, 'what if you weren't kidding?'"

"I mean, what if I wasn't kidding about us having a kid together?"

"I think you've had too many beers, Finn-"

"No, I'm being completely serious. Think about it for a second, Rachel. What did we say earlier about kids ruining people's marriages?"

Rachel sighs and wipes her face, trying to jog her memory as best as she can. She thinks that it's kind of unfair that he's calling her about something as serious as this while she's half asleep. It's like kicking someone when they're down. "Well, yeah. That whole thing about how kids make your marriage worse or whatever. Why?"

"Yeah, well, I was thinking about it, and-"

"You were thinking? That's a first."

He ignores her jeer and continues. "Well, we both want kids at some point, right? And neither of us are married or seem like we're going to be married any time soon. And I think we're running out of time if we ever want to be parents, Rach."

Rachel sighs into the phone and adjusts herself in bed, pulling the sheets off of her lap and getting out of bed. She decides that this isn't going to end any time soon. "We're not even thirty, Finn. We still have time to get married and have kids."

"Rachel, I'm going to be thirty in two years. And you know what? Almost every girl that I go out with is just waiting to get married so they can have a baby. Everyone gets married in their mid-twenties and starts having kids way before they even think about turning thirty. Look at Puck and Quinn."

She sighs. "Puck and Quinn don't count, because for all we know, Beth was an accident-"

"Kurt and Blaine."

Rachel switches her phone to her other hand, walking into her kitchen. She decides that as long as she's awake, she might as well eat something. "Okay, you know, you're just drawing really pointless conclusions that don't make any sense, and Finn, we don't need any kids. We can just keep on dating people until we find the right one, alright?" She pulls out a carton of orange juice from the door of her refrigerator. "Why don't you ask Quinn if she can set you up with that girl from her job? I'm sure she's very nice."

"No, Rachel, you don't understand," he says, frustrated. "We have a kid, and that's it. That way, we can have the kid without worrying about our marriages turning to complete shit, and when we go out dating again, we'll know that whoever we end up with will be someone awesome, because they'll have to be accepting of both us _and _the kid."

"That just creates unnecessary baggage. Guys don't want that. Girls do, at least some of them, but guys don't."

Finn sighs and puts his feet up on the table across from his couch. "You'd be surprised how many guys would be willing to be accepting of a girl who already has a kid, Rach."

Rachel sighs and looks around her kitchen, contemplating the idea. She doesn't know if it's because of how late it is, or because she managed to have two glasses of wine and a beer tonight, but he does have a point. No matter how much she wants to disagree with him, he brings something of value to the table.

"Alright, so let's say, hypothetically, that we have a kid. How do you plan on raising it together if we don't live together, Finn? We can't just go into this without having every little detail planned out." Finn sighs and starts mumbling something underneath his breath. He can't believe that she's doing this. It's typical Rachel, but it's expected.

"Do you really think that everyone who's ever wanted to be a parent plans out every single thing that they're going to do once they realize that they're pregnant?" Rachel makes a face despite being on the phone, taking a sip from her glass of orange juice. "I mean, maybe you would, but-"

"Yeah, but Finn, if we decide to go through with this, we'd actually need to plan everything out. What do we tell our kid when it realizes that its parents don't love each other? Or what do we tell our friends? What do you think they'll say when they find out that we're going to have a kid together, but we're not going to get married or even live together to raise it."

"The kid would just end up being like a divorce kid," Finn explains, Rachel perching herself up on her kitchen counter. "We would still get along, but it would just live in different houses with different people every other weekend or something like that that. It wouldn't be that difficult. I grew up that way."

"You grew up with your mom."

"Well, my parents were divorced," Finn quips. "I totally get how that sort of thing works out."

Rachel sighs and rests her head against a cabinet in her kitchen. "Finn, I just don't think that this is the best idea. I mean, we're not necessarily the best candidates for parents. I work all the time, and your job is so iffy that I don't know if we would have the best schedule for a kid to live. I mean, you have to remember that we would be raising this kid until it turned eighteen, and then continue to help it for the rest of its life."

"My job is not iffy, Rachel." He doesn't think it is. He writes commercial jingles for radio ads and TV ads. He goes into work at nine every morning and leaves at five every afternoon. If he has an 'iffy' job, then Rachel's job is just plain crazy. "I write music for commercials. You're the one who has to worry about your job. If you're pregnant, won't you just lose your job?"

"I'm highly regarded in the Broadway community, Finn. If I'm pregnant, I'll just take a leave of absence, the audiences will miss me for nine months, send me fan mail, and then I'll be back onstage in after the baby's born." She sits up on the counter, proud of herself. "Piece of cake."

Finn looks around the room, rolling his eyes. "You're so humble, Rachel," he says sarcastically.

Rachel shakes her head and adjusts herself on the counter. "You know what I mean. My job doesn't keep me from getting pregnant or having a kid."

They both sigh and there's a moment over the phone where they're silent, not saying anything to one another.

"So we're going to do this," she says, her voice quieter than it had been. "We're going to have a kid together and then just go on with our lives." They wait a beat. "Are you sure that this doesn't sound completely crazy?"

Finn sighs and runs a hand through his hair, contemplating the idea in his head for a moment. When she says it like that, it does sound completely crazy. There's something about just choosing to have a kid without even being in a romantic relationship with someone that doesn't sound exactly correct, but he doesn't think that it has to be. They can be totally normal about this if they want to be.

"Look, we can talk about it tomorrow morning if you want before work. Do you want to get some coffee?"

She nods. "Yeah. Sure, that sounds great." She can hear him sounding tired over the phone. "But hey, Finn?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll do it."

:.:.:

They decide that meeting at Starbucks the following morning is the best idea they could have come up with. It's in public, so if on the off chance they start arguing, they'll be able to act reasonably about it (even though Finn and Rachel have never really gotten into a true argument), and they've gotten the chance to sober up a bit from the night before so that they know that their ideas aren't just the beer talking; it's both of them now, choosing to be mature adults and trying to figure everything out so they know that they're being completely serious about all of this.

By the time Rachel shows up (she's late, which never happens in her world), Finn's already grabbed them a table and is waiting with her drink. He has her order memorized by now.

They spend a good amount of time talking about everything; laughing over whether or not they think this is truly a good idea or not, and they just sit there for a long time, or at least until Finn needs to head off to work for the day, laughing and explaining how they would make great parents together.

It's all very light hearted and fun, they think. They're right in thinking that it's serious, because they realize that a child is an eighteen-year commitment that they'll be signing on to, but they can't help but think that there's some great, undiscovered joy that will come along with it as well.

It is a baby, after all.

They make their way up to the door of the Starbucks before Rachel turns to face Finn, stopping him before he can leave.

"Alright, so we're doing this?" She tips her head up to look at him, wide brown eyes staring up into his. "We're going to have a baby together, but we're not going to get married and then continue to live our lives the way we have been?" She pouts slightly and looks around the coffee shop for a moment, lowering her voice. "Remind me again why we're going through with this?"

Finn rubs her arm and looks down at her, a smile stuck to his face. "Because everything's going to be fine," he tells her, nuzzling her on the head like a father would to his son. She furrows her brow and looks up at him, frustrated. "We're smart and responsible, Rachel. We'll do it."

She sighs and fixes her hair where he's messed it up, looking around for a moment. They're standing in front of the caddy with sugar and creamers and stirring sticks lying on top of it, and she gets an idea. Quickly, Rachel grabs two creamer cups and hands one to Finn. She holds hers out in front of her like she's about to take a shot, and Finn makes a face.

"Alright, this is real talk right now," she tells him, looking at him with a determined look on her face. "You need to promise that you're on board with this. One hundred percent."

Finn balks at her, looking at his hand. "You want me to shoot a coffee creamer, Rachel? Are you insane?"

"It was the first thing I thought of," she says, almost nervously. "Besides, I bet it tastes just as bad as doing a shot of Jack, or scotch, or whatever it is you do a shot of."

Finn sighs and they look at one another, determined and never more sure of anything in their entire lives. "Alright. One hundred percent."

They pop the tops off of the creamers and tip their heads back, Finn gagging as he pulls the cup away from his lips.

"You're right," he says, sticking his tongue out as Rachel does the same, giggling. "That was horrible."

:.:.:

"They are so fucked," Quinn says to Puck, reaching for a wine glass in a kitchen cabinet. Finn and Rachel have decided to break the news to Puck and Quinn one night over dinner, causing Quinn to retreat to the kitchen to grab an extra glass and bringing Puck with her because 'she doesn't know if she'll be able to reach it.'

"Yeah," Puck scoffs, looking back through the doorway into the living room, noting Finn and Rachel sitting on the couch together, talking. "I mean, they're going to have a fucking kid without getting married, or living together, and the kid's going to grow up like some sad little kid with divorced parents."

"Well, that, and how do they even think they're going to have it? Just sleep with each other once and wait nine months to pop out a kid?" Quinn sits on the idea for a moment and then realization dawns on her. "And with Rachel's job, I just… God, I don't think they've thought this through. At all."

Puck sighs and looks down at Quinn, shaking his head. "They'll realize it soon, I think. I mean, Finn's not going to want to be tied down with a kid for eighteen years, and Rachel… well, Rachel's just crazy. Could you imagine all of the shit she'd put that kid through?"

Quinn rolls her eyes and pushes at Puck. "Rachel's not crazy," she says, "and I don't think she would put a kid through beauty pageants or anything like that unless the kid wanted to."

"I don't know," Puck says, walking back out into the living room. "They're just going to figure out one day that having a kid like this is a bad idea."

:.:.:

Kurt and Blaine seem to be a bit happier with their news.

"Oh, my God – seriously?" Kurt looks at Blaine with a smile and places a hand on his knee. "Oh, we've always wanted you two to get together."

Finn and Rachel exchange a confused glance. "No, guys, that's not what we're doing." Rachel nods along with Finn as he explains. "We're just going to have a kid together. We're not… dating, or anything."

Blaine looks at them, confused. "So you're just going to have sex once and raise a kid together?"

Rachel nods eagerly. "That's right."

Finn turns to look at her, lowering his voice. "When you put it like that, Rach, it sounds pretty bad."

"Wait, so you guys are – have you put any thought into this?" Kurt looks at them, his eyes wide. "I mean, raising a kid isn't a joke. It's why it's so hard to go through adoption services and they take kids away from people when they're not caring for them properly." He sighs. "And, not that you two wouldn't make good parents, but… I just don't see how this is all going to work out. Rachel, what about work?"

"I would just take a few months off," she tells him, hoping that he'll buy it. "I would keep performing until I started showing, and then I would just take the time off to have the kid. I would be back performing, like, a week after I had the baby." She pauses. "Or, you know, when the doctor says that I can."

Kurt and Blaine look back up at the both of them, smiling nervously as they stare down at them.

"You know that Puck and Quinn would call you crazy, right?" Blaine asks, looking at both of them.

Finn nods, deadpanning for a moment. "Oh, we know. We already told them."

:.:.:

She's sitting on the couch when it occurs to her. She thinks it would be an idea that would come to her much faster than it did, because it's obvious, but it doesn't.

"Hey, Finn?" He's in her kitchen, looking through her refrigerator. He pokes his head out from around the corner, a beer in his hand. "Did we ever figure out… you know, how we're going to conceive the baby?"

He shrugs slightly and walks back into her living room, joining her on the couch. "I don't know, weren't we kind of just going to do the whole 'get drunk, have sex' thing?"

She contemplates the idea for a moment and looks at him, sighing. "Do we really want to do that? I mean, I know it would be the easiest thing to do, but I just…"

"You don't want to have sex," Finn says, looking down at her knowingly.

"No, I never said-"

"No, I get it," he says, laughing. "I mean, we've known each other since college, Rach. You'd think that if we were ever going to do it, we'd have done it by now." He leans back on the couch and takes a sip of his beer. "Or, you know, we can just use the idea I had."

Rachel turns to face him, curious. "Which was…?"

"A turkey baster."

She slaps him on the arm and furrows her brow as she looks at him. "That's not funny," she tells him. No matter how serious she wants to be with him, however, her shoulders still shake because of her desperate want to laugh. "That's how I came into the world, Finn. That's not a joke."

"Then why are you laughing?"

She turns to face him and laughs into his shoulder, shaking her head.

"Look, we'll just get really drunk one night - like really, _really _drunk, and then we'll just have sex and be done with it, alright?" She looks at him, a nervous look on her face. "Sounds good?"

She nods.

"Fine."

:.:.:

It's a lot more difficult than they think it would be.

They still think that it's weird to kiss each other, and she's already told him that she doesn't want this to feel like some random hookup, because that would involve absolutely no kissing or any kind of emotional attachment to it at all, which she kind of wants.

She's not sure if that's what Finn wants, but she doesn't think that he wants a random hookup, either.

They've already tried sitting on the couch and making out with one another (after plenty of beer) to no avail, and Finn gets up and tells her that he's going to get something in the kitchen, but Rachel gets up and follows after him.

She grabs him by the shirt and pulls him in closer to her, sighing. She's sure that her breath smells of beer and pizza, because it's all they've had all night, but he smells the exact same, so she doesn't think he'll notice.

"Maybe if we just pretend that we're really into each other," she says, her voice soft against his chest. It shouldn't be that hard. She's an actress, anyway. She pretends to be in love with her costar eight times a week and doesn't have a problem making out with him.

It's just that this is Finn. He's her best friend.

Finn looks down at her and puts his hand on her waist, drawing her closer to him. "Yeah," he says, his voice soft. She stands up on her toes and kisses him, only this time she really kisses him, lips hard against his own and hands finding their place behind his neck.

They stumble into the bedroom and lose their clothes one by one, Rachel pushing Finn onto her bed and ducking under the sheets before he can see her. He follows suit and joins her, feeling her breathing become more ragged and her heart beating quickly. He touches her face for a moment and pushes her hair from her eyes, smiling down at her.

"Hey," he says, Rachel blinking as she looks up at him. "We just have to do this once, and we'll be good, okay?" She nods and feels him push into her, tipping her head back and whimpering softly, biting down on her lip to silence herself.

It doesn't last too long, and she can feel him when he comes close, flipping herself over so that she's on top of him, rolling her hips into his.

"Holy shit, Rachel-"

"Stop," she says, looking down at him and resting her hands on his chest. "We're not turning this into that. Just… do whatever it is you need to do."

It doesn't take them too long to finish up, Rachel rolling off of Finn, who's panting heavily. Rachel quickly covers herself up with her sheets and looks at him, her face red.

"Jesus, Rachel, I didn't think you were that good at that sort of thing," he tells her, laughing slightly. "I mean, seriously-"

"Stop," she says, hiding her face in her hands. "Seriously, Finn, I swear, if you say anything to anyone, I'll-"

"I won't," he promises her, holding hands up in front of him. "But seriously, Rachel, you shouldn't be embarrassed. If you ever lose your job and need to pick up some extra money-"

She's out of bed and throws a pillow at him before he can finish his statement. He hears her bathroom door slam shut and laughs to himself, knowing that she'll get over it in time.

They are best friends, after all.


	3. III

She walks back out of her bathroom slowly and sees Finn sitting upright in her bed, fully clothed again. It's not like she wants to see him sitting there naked, especially in her bed. The very thought of it sends a chill down her spine.

"Hey," he says, turning away from the TV across from her bed and looking at her. She's in a robe, wet hair falling down her back. "You took forever in there."

"I was taking a shower," she says, wet feet padding against the hardwood floors of her bedroom. "What, do you just sit in your own filth once you're done having sex with a girl?"

He makes a face and turns around in her bed, finding his shirt and pulling it over his head. "Since when have you turned into such a germophobe, Rach?" He laughs at her and she rolls her eyes, chewing on her lip. "Besides, if you take a shower, won't it not work, or something?"

"What won't work?"

He mills over his words in his heads for a moment. "…The whole getting pregnant thing."

Rachel shakes her head and starts to laugh slightly, leaning against the foot of her bed and purposely standing in front of the television set so she blocks him from seeing whatever it is playing on the screen. "Well, I went online to see when the optimal conception period is, and I counted down the days from my period-"

"Woah, woah, stop," Finn says, sliding out of her bed and picking up his pants that are in a pile on the floor. "I don't care if we're going to have a kid together or not, I don't want to listen to you talk about your fucking period."

She furrows her brow and crosses her arms over her chest. "You can't swear like that once you become a father, you know. If you keep on talking like that, it'll just turn into a habit you'll be unable to break and our kid will be swearing like a sailor by the time she's three."

Finn laughs and looks at her funny, zipping his pants. "You want it to be a girl, Rach?"

Rachel starts to kick her feet against the floor and looks up at him bashfully. "I think that a girl would be nice," she says, playing with the subject. She does think that a girl would be nice. She would identify more with a daughter, anyway. A boy would be nice until he got to be about thirteen, and then she knows that he would spend all of his time with Finn. With a girl, she feels like she would do a better job.

Finn continues to laugh and walks over towards her, wrapping her in an embrace. Rachel squirms around and tries to fight him for a while, but to no avail. "That's kind of cute, Rachel." He sighs and pulls away from her for a moment, feeling her want to stay with him. "Oh, and um, you know, that whole thing we did to actually get the kid? Let's never do that again."

Rachel giggles and tips her head up to look at him. "Yes," she says, almost too quickly. They both laugh. "I mean, yes, let's… let's not."

He laughs at her and feels her pull him in for another embrace, wrapping his arms around her. "I mean, at least I broke your six month dry spell," he says, causing Rachel to pull away from him and swat at his chest. "I'm kidding," he says, watching her look down at her robe and adjust it carefully.

She hugs him back and rests her head against his chest, sighing deeply. "We're really going to do this, aren't we?" She tips her head up and looks at him, eyes wide.

"Yeah," he says. He holds her close to him and smiles. "We really are."

:.:.:

Rachel learns that she's pregnant about three weeks afterwards. She calls Finn and tells him that she's a week late, and he complains to her that he doesn't need to know about her period or anything else regarding what's going on with her past her waistline, but she tells him that he needs to stop everything he's doing so she can come downstairs and take her EPT right this second with him, which he doesn't understand either.

Before he can even hang up his phone, however, he can hear Rachel's door slam upstairs and her feet charge down the stairs to his level of the building, a fist wrapping on the door eagerly.

He can't even say anything before she pushes past him, a perpetual smile on her face as she turns around to look at him, a cardboard box in her shaking hands.

"Aren't you excited?!" She asks him, practically jumping up and down as she looks at him. Finn sighs and rolls his eyes, but can't help but smile slightly. She looks so happy and excited, and no matter how much he wants to act like he's not as thrilled as she is, he kind of is. If she's pregnant, it means that whatever they schemed up is going to come to fruition. They're actually going to have a baby, whether they're ready or not.

"Wait, haven't you taken the test yet?"

"No," she says, shaking the box in front of him. Her hands try to rip open the cardboard box and before Finn can move in to help her, white, plastic sticks spray everywhere, clattering against the floors of his apartment. Rachel jumps and screams a little, Finn bending over to pick one up. He hands it to her and looks down at her, eyes wide as she looks back up at him.

"Just go take this and pee on it," he tells her, eyes pinching shut. Rachel nods and rushes off to the bathroom, the door slamming behind her.

She comes out of the bathroom about fifteen minutes later, hands behind her back and a huge smile on her face. Finn looks up at her from the couch, smiling slightly.

"Are we…?"

She just nods and pulls out the pregnancy test from behind her back. "Yes," she says, unable to contain her smile. "We're going to have a baby, Finn."

They practically crash into one another and hug one another, Finn swallowing Rachel's body completely. They know that it's abnormal for them to be celebrating something like this. They're not married, they're not even in love with each other – and they're having a baby.

And they couldn't be happier.

:.:.:

Rachel decides to go to Finn's one day after a doctor's appointment about three months into her pregnancy. She's just barely started to show, but she feels like complete shit half the time and when she isn't busy on her elliptical (because her doctor told her that if she works out during the pregnancy that she's more likely to get her old figure back once she has the baby), she's throwing up into the toilet or the bucket she keeps under her vanity countertop in her dressing room (because sometimes, she just can't make it to the bathroom in there on time and she doesn't want to risk losing her lunch in the middle of the floor). She thinks it's kind of unfair that she's going through all of this and all she has to show for it is a measly little bump that only looks like she had a big meal earlier.

She knocks on the door to Finn's apartment and sighs, pulling her bag further up on her shoulder before he opens the door.

His eyes immediately fall to her chest, mouth falling open slightly.

"Jesus, Rachel, your boobs are huge. In respect to what they were, anyway." She laughs acerbically and pushes her way inside, throwing the tote bag that she carries everywhere now down on the floor behind Finn's couch. She looks down at her chest and notices that he's kind of telling the truth. Her boobs are a lot bigger than they used to be.

That doesn't mean that it should be the very first thing he notices when he sees her.

"Yeah, it's just too bad that no one wants to sleep with and or date a pregnant woman," she quips, finding a spot on his couch and sitting down. "How was work?"

"We made a deal with Apple today," he says, walking into the kitchen. "Oh, and um, a couple of radio spots for Macy's." Rachel musters a smile from the couch and watches as he returns from the kitchen with a beer for him and ginger ale for her. "Nothing too exciting. When's your last show?"

"Two weeks," she says, taking the can of ginger ale from his hands. "The other night, I thought I was ready to burst out of my costume. It was horrible." She takes a sip and Finn sits down next to her on the couch. "I mean, I know I'm only three months along and it doesn't look like I'm super pregnant or anything, but I feel like a beached whale," she says. "Besides, I don't think Cinderella was supposed to be pregnant, so there's always that."

They laugh and Finn looks at her with a smile, shifting his hands away from his lap and towards hers, thinking that she won't notice. He places his free hand without the beer on the small curve of her stomach, causing Rachel to jump, spilling ginger ale down the front of her shirt.

"What the hell, Finn?"

"I thought I would be able to feel it kicking!" He says, backing away from her. She shakes her head and sighs, looking down at her chest. "Sorry."

"It's fine, it's just… the baby's only the size of acorn right now," she says, laughing slightly. "You wouldn't be able to feel it kick even if it could."

Finn looks at her and tries to find a napkin nearby so she can clean her shirt, standing up as his eyes wander the coffee table. "So besides quitting your job and getting a bigger set of boobs, what are the other benefits of being 'with child?'" Finn looks at her with a dumb smile on his face, causing Rachel to laugh. She rests her hands on her stomach and sighs.

"I went to the doctor today, actually," she says, a smile spreading across her face. "I had my first ultrasound."

Finn looks at her, confused. "That's when they take the pictures of the baby, right?" She nods.

"I would have told you, but I knew you wouldn't have been able to get off work, so I didn't. I can schedule the next one on a weekend, if you'd like."

"When do we find out what it is?"

She looks over at him bashfully, smiling sweetly. "Anytime now, actually." She pauses. "I kind of want it to be a surprise."

Finn looks down at her, scoffing slightly. "Surprise? What if I want to know?"

"Because I want to be surprised," she says. "And besides, if you were to find out, you would get all excited and tell me on accident."

He laughs and looks down at her stomach again, trying to hide his smile from her. He's never gotten to see someone's who's pregnant grow and evolve like this before. Growing up, he had aunts and cousins who had babies, but her only ever saw them when they were ready to burst or had already had their baby. He gets to see Rachel go through everything – the good, the bad and the ugly.

"When are you going to start craving stuff?" He figures he might as well ask. Knowing Rachel, it'll be something disgusting and gluten-free and expensive.

"I don't really know." She starts giggling. "I haven't gotten that far yet in _What To Expect _yet."

She tips her head back on the couch and her eyes fall shut, sighing deeply. She's never thought that having a baby would be this exhausting.

:.:.:

They go out with Puck and Quinn one night when they aren't busy arguing. At first, it had started out with just Rachel and Quinn planning to go out for dinner one night, but Quinn chose to bring Puck along, causing Rachel to tell Finn to go with them. She doesn't like riding the subway alone that much anymore, especially now that she's ballooned into what she thinks is an incapacitated blob, no matter how many times her friends tell her otherwise.

Besides, Puck and Quinn are getting along for a change, which is nice. Nicer than nice, actually.

"You look beautiful," Quinn tells Rachel, her smile lighting up the dimly lit restaurant. Rachel's pushed just a bit further away from the table than everyone else, leaving room for her stomach between herself and the table. "How far along are you, Rachel?"

"About five and a half months," she says, smiling brightly. Finn looks at her with a smile. "But it feels more like five and a half years." The table laughs and Rachel takes a sip of her water. "But really, thanks. Today was the first day I couldn't fit into any of my regular pants, so I don't exactly feel the greatest." She sighs and laughs slightly. "I feel like I look just like Kim Kardashian did when she was pregnant."

"No," Puck says, shaking his head. "Kim Kardashian was hot and then she gained about fifty pounds everywhere. You weighed about two pounds before you got pregnant, and you gained all of your weight where the baby is." He takes a sip of his beer and looks at Quinn. "You're still hot, Rach."

Quinn rolls her eyes and nudges Puck across the table. "You look great," she says again, staring down at Rachel's stomach. "And with someone like you, you'll have your figure back immediately." Rachel looks at Finn and smirks, letting her eyes fall shut. She feels like sleeping all of the time right now. Quinn's face perks up and she looks at Rachel again, setting her drink down on its coaster. "Do you have any cravings?"

"Pickles," Rachel says plainly. "And cream cheese, but not together, and-"

"Bacon," Finn says, his face lighting up. Rachel's eyes go wide and she turns to look at Finn angrily.

Quinn and Puck look at him, surprised. "What?"

"Rachel had four pieces of bacon the other day," Finn says eagerly. Rachel's mouth fall open and she kicks him underneath the table. "Ow!"

Puck laughs and takes a sip of his beer. "Really, Rach? That baby's got you abandoning your morals?" He looks at Quinn and they start laughing. Rachel just rolls her eyes and stares down Finn.

"Why would you say that?" She says, laughing. "It was once," she tells them frantically. "I was hungry, and I really wanted it, and – I'm pregnant, so I think that's a good enough excuse."

Quinn laughs and looks at both of them, stirring the straw in her drink absentmindedly. "So, how's everything been for the expectant parents?" She asks them eagerly. "I mean, you guys must be ecstatic about everything, right?"

They nod and look at one another, contemplating the idea. "We're excited," Rachel tells her, eyes still locked on Finn. "It's just different, I guess. I mean, we're not designing one nursery, we're designing two, and we're baby proofing two apartments, so it's weird. Everything we have to do we have to do twice."

"Yeah, you know, it's kind of weird." Finn looks at her and down at her stomach. Ever since the definition of an actual baby growing in her stomach has become more apparent, all Finn's been able to do is stare at it whenever they're together. "

Quinn nods and grabs Puck's hand under the table, looking at him. She mumbles something under her breath at him and he nods, looking at both of them.

"We were just wondering," he starts, rapping his hand against the table, "what's the baby's last name going to be? You know, considering you guys aren't married, and you're never going to be."

"Puck!"

"What? They aren't!" He looks at Quinn and gives her a glare. "All you guys ever planned on doing was fucking that one time and having a kid, right?"

Finn and Rachel exchange a glance, caught slightly off-guard with Puck's blunt question.

"Well, yeah," Finn says, looking at Rachel for a moment. "That was the plan."

Rachel looks at Finn and mills over the question that he's asked earlier. "Um, we never really thought about it," she says, eyes not averting from him. "Finn, what did you think? Like, the whole hyphenated thing to me just screams 'I have two moms,' and not that that would be a bad thing, but we're not two moms, you know?"

Finn nods along with her, laughing slightly. "Well, what did your dads do when they had you?"

Her eyes bulge and she makes a face, taking a sip from her water. "They flipped a coin."

Puck start to laugh and Quinn rolls her eyes, staring down into her drink and trying to avoid the conversation. "Well, why don't you guys just do that? Flip a coin and decide what last name the baby has to have."

Rachel looks at Finn and raises a brow. "You know that if we choose my name, the baby is going to have to put up with all of the fame that comes with being a Berry in New York City," she argues. Finn scoffs and looks down at her, rolling his eyes.

"Wait, what?"

"Oh, you know. Being chased by photographers, always having people begging for your autograph, having your caricature getting done at Sardi's…"

"But you don't even do that."

"I know."

They both laugh and Puck laughs along with him, Quinn looking down into her lap. "Hey, Finn, good luck finding a girlfriend once that baby's born," he says, laughing. "I don't think many girls want to deal with the baggage of a kid being raised by your best friend."

Rachel looks at Puck, furrowing her brow. "I think it would be more difficult for me to find someone to date, to be honest. It's not like you would want to date someone with a baby."

Puck laughs and looks at Rachel before looking back to Quinn, who's smiling nervously. "No, you're right," he says. "But you'll find someone, Rachel. You're hot. Most single moms aren't hot."

Rachel doesn't know whether to laugh at that last remark. She doesn't know if it's the hormones because of the pregnancy or what, but she can't find the right words to say – and Rachel's the type that's never at a loss for words. Finn grabs her hand in her lap and squeezes it tightly, offering her a smile.

"She'll find someone," he says, speaking to her more so instead of speaking to Puck. "She's a pretty cool girl."

:.:.:

Finn shows up at Rachel's apartment one day about a week before she's due. They've been going over plans for the past month over what they're going to do once they get into the delivery room and that she's not going to get any kinds of drugs no matter how much she begs for them once she's in pain and begging for it after she goes into labor.

She opens the door and she's _huge, _because the baby's ready to come any day now, her hair thrown into a messy pile on the top of her head. She's eating a carrot when he walks in – only not baby carrots and instead one big, long carrot that makes her look more ridiculous the longer she eats it.

"Hi," she says, letting him walk inside before inviting him in. "You left your sweater here the other night."

Finn walks inside and sits on the couch, looking at all of the paper she has shuffled over her coffee table, boxes of toys and blankets and books sitting in different corners of the room. "Alright, Bugs Bunny," he says, causing her to shoot him a glance before bringing him glass of water from the kitchen. He looks at the glass and looks back at her, confused.

"What the hell, Rachel? I never asked for water." He pokes his head around, trying to get a glimpse of her kitchen from the couch. "Did you get rid of all of your beer or something?"

"No, but you need to get in the habit of not drinking so much now that you're going to be a father," she says, waddling over to the couch and easing herself down next to him. Finn immediately stands up and tries to help her down, but she shakes her head and just tells him that she's fine. "You can't just sit down and drink a beer in front of our kid."

He looks at her and watches as she catches her breath, resting her hands on her stomach. He's kind of amazed that she's able to carry it all around with her tiny, petite frame, but it's almost comical how small she is and how huge the baby is right now.

The whole thing of him drinking beer is out of the question, though.

"I'm not going to stop drinking just because I have a kid," he tells her, taking a sip of the water she's handed him. "I mean, smoking would make sense, but I don't think the baby's going to want to crack open a beer just because it sees me drinking one."

Rachel rolls her eyes and lets her head fall onto Finn's shoulder, closing her eyes. "I really don't want to start an argument right now," she tells him, a groan in her voice. "How about no beer tonight, and then after tonight, drink all the beer you want. Get drunk, for all I care." She sighs. "Just don't be drunk when I finally have to go to the hospital."

He laughs and she laughs along with him before wincing, leaning further into him. "This kid has been kicking all day," she complains, tipping her head back on the couch. "I think it's going to be a dancer."

Finn laughs. "What if it's a boy?"

"Then it's going to be a male dancer." Finn snorts.

"Our own little gay son, huh?"

"We'd make good parents for a gay kid." She starts laughing. "I think we would just pass it off to Kurt and Blaine to raise."

He smiles and feels her adjust on the couch, leaning into him and groaning. Soon, they'll be able to have a baby to hold in their arms and coddle and fuss over – and while that day might not be today, he knows that it will be in the near future. And even though they won't technically be raising the baby together, he still knows that they'll make pretty awesome parents.

After all, the best couples he's known in his life are the ones that are friends as well as lovers. He and Rachel just take out all of the sex and love crap and they make the perfect couple.

:.:.:

He's on a date when it happens, actually. He's talking to a girl sitting across from him at a table (and she's gorgeous, so it's not like the date is off to that bad of a start) when his phone rings.

Sure enough, it's Rachel, practically screaming into the phone. She sounds like she needs to go to the bathroom really bad while being stabbed in the stomach at the same time, and even though he can't make out what she's saying very well, he knows that she needs him to go to the hospital.

This is why they've mapped out every little detail of the day the baby finally comes.

When he finally gets through the gridlock of Manhattan and arrives at the hotel, he gets escorted to the delivery room where Rachel's strapped into a bed, already dressed in a hospital gown and sweating like a marathon runner. Her eyes are wide and she looks at him, practically seething.

A nurse is standing in the corner, checking her vitals. "She keeps on saying that she wants a spinal block, but I need a signature in order to give her anything," she says, her voice plain. "You're the husband, I assume?"

Finn just looks at her dumbly and nods his head. "Um, yeah." He thinks back to what Rachel had told him earlier, and he knows that if he defies anything she's said that she'll kill him once she gets out of the hospital. "Actually, we decided a while ago that we weren't going to-"

Rachel stops him and grabs him by the arm, twisting it and making him wince. "I don't care what I said earlier," she says through clenched teeth. "I want you sign me off for all of the meds they offer me."

He's not sure if he should, because the last time he checked Rachel was all ready for this 'natural childbirth' one of her fellow vegans had told her about, but he thinks that with the stress and hormones of going into labor, she's changed her mind and is singing a different tune.

"Rach, are you sure-"

"Of course I'm sure," she says, practically yelling. "Put me on the damn spinal tap right now!"

He jumps and takes the clipboard that the agitated nurse hands to him, signing his name quickly. The nurse looks at him and laughs. "She'll be fine," she assures him. "Once she has a baby in her arms, she'll do just fine."

He knows that the worst is yet to come, too, because a doctor walks in after he signs her organic lifestyle away and bends down between Rachel's legs, causing him to turn his head away – because seriously, that's disgusting – and tells her that she's almost ready to start pushing, which Finn thinks is his cue to head out and let her have this moment that's supposed to be a miracle, but she grabs him by the wrist and her nails dig into the skin, making him squeal.

"Promise me you'll stay in here?" She asks, her face red. Her hair is down and sticks to her red face, panting heavily. He should probably tell her that she still looks pretty despite getting ready to push eight pounds of a head and limbs out of – well, he knows where, but he thinks he'll save it for when she's halfway asleep and she'd actually thank him for the compliment instead of doubting him like she will now.

He looks down at her and nods before looking back up at her doctor, who's still got her head between Rachel's legs (he's already promised himself not to look at anything because he feels like it will ruin the way he looks at not only her, but every woman he becomes intimate with after this forever). "Yeah," he says, nodding quickly. "Yeah, Rach, I'll stay right here. The entire time."

Her doctor pokes her head up from between her legs and raises her voice over Rachel's strained one. "Alright, Rachel, you can start pushing now."

Before she starts anything, she looks up at Finn and the grip she has around his arm tightens, making him feel like she's going to tear his entire arm off right there.

She's not screaming, but she's definitely in pain; panting and sweating and making Finn thank his lucky stars that he was born a man and never has to go through the ordeal of childbirth.

He's never heard Rachel swear before, and she's swearing like a sailor now that she's actually going through this. He makes a mental note to tell everyone about this, because it's kind of funny, no matter how much pain she's going through. She's the one who's wanted to not go on any painkillers (besides the spinal block, which he's sure she agreed to in a fit of dazed pain anyway) and is now trying to go through this naturally without feeling like she's about to explode.

His arm is going through enough pain too, though. He's sure that he's going to have a permanent scar on his forearm from where her nails are digging into it.

It's all worth it in the end, however. About twenty minutes later, when all of the pushing and screaming and pain are over, the doctor emerges with a baby in her hands. And after it's all cleaned up, Finn and Rachel get to hold their own baby in their arms – a little girl.

"Wow," he says, looking down at Rachel, who's still exhausted. He feels a tear roll down his cheek and tries to stop himself before Rachel catches him, but she does.

"You're crying," she tells him, laughing. He tries to deny it but she just laughs, looking back down at their baby.

It's kind of special that it's _their baby_, anyway.


	4. IV

**Hi!**

**I just wanted to stop and thank everyone for all of the amazing support already! I'm really enjoying writing this and I'm excited to get into the thick of things! As for people asking if Finn and Rachel's relationship will ever turn into a romantic one – well, you'll just have to wait and see! I wouldn't file this story under the romance section for just any reason. ;)**

**As always, feedback is highly appreciated!**

Ella Katherine Hudson is born on March 18th at around ten-thirty at night. They end up deciding on using Finn's last name for the simple fact that it would make more sense for their daughter to have the father's name, because that's what happens when people get married and have a child and later get divorced. The wife sometimes switches back to her maiden name and the child remains with the father's last name.

So, Ella Hudson it is. Rachel thinks that it has a nice ring to it, anyway. Finn seems to be indifferent about the entire situation.

A group of nurses who are much younger and happier than Finn expects all rush into the delivery room at once, flocking around Rachel and the baby, telling her all of these things which he's sure are important and knows that he should probably be paying attention to, but he doesn't. He's too wrapped up in the whole idea of having a baby to call his own – and not just a baby, but a child that he can call his own and raise into a fully grown person. Finn decides to leave and waits out in the lobby for Kurt and Blaine and Puck and Quinn because he's called them all to let them know that the baby's here – and he kind of wants to look at the baby, because it's _his _baby. His and Rachel's, but still his, and making him prouder than ever before.

He's standing in front of the window of the nursery when Kurt and Blaine walk in. Blaine's holding a bouquet of gardenias and Kurt looks like he's lost; running around and trying to find Finn desperately. He eventually flags them down and they smile, Finn taking the time to hug them each and receive their congratulations.

"You must be so excited," Blaine gushes, handing him the bouquet. "Oh, and um, well, these were for Rachel, unless you have a penchant for gardenias."

Finn laughs and takes the flowers from him, holding them delicately in his arms. They smell really good, and he's sure Rachel will love them. He thinks that gardenias are her favorite flowers, but he's not sure.

"So, where's the baby?" Kurt asks, pushing past them and gluing his face to the glass separating the nursery from the waiting room. Blaine and Finn laugh and Finn points at the baby, wrapped in a little pink blanket.

"With Rachel," he says, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I guess that they want the baby to stay with the mother for as long as possible to keep it warm and work on bonding and everything."

"What name did you decide on?"

"Ella Katherine," Finn says, smiling.

"No," Kurt interrupts, waving his hand in front of him. "What last name did you choose?"

"Oh," Finn says, rubbing the back of his neck. "Um, mine. We just figured that it would be like we got divorced and Rachel just kept her maiden name, you know?"

Kurt nods, not really understanding what he's saying.

"So, where's Rachel now?" Blaine asks eagerly.

"In her room. The doctors said we could go in whenever, but I'm pretty sure she's asleep, so-"

"Oh, whatever. I'm sure she'll wake up once we show up." Finn looks at them, furrowing his brow.

"Dude, she just had a kid," he argues, slightly confused. "I mean, sure, go ahead, but you can't blame me when she starts yelling at you for going in her room."

:.:.:

She doesn't yell at them when they walk in. Actually, she sits up in bed and hugs both of them (or at least tries to, because Ella's in her lap), elated. Finn's pretty sure he's never seen her so happy. This whole having a kid thing should be prescribed to depression patients.

"Yeah, I met them right in front of the nursery," he says, setting the bouquet they've brought her down on a nearby table. He smiles and looks down at Ella and smiles, looking at her.

"She looks like you, Rach," Blaine says, laughing. "She has your eyes."

"She has Finn's nose," Kurt says. "Thank God."

Rachel swats at Kurt and rolls her eyes. "She's beautiful," she says, her voice soft. She does look like the perfect combination of the both of them – big brown eyes, a freckled face, and dark hair to match the both of them. Kurt starts laughing and looks at her, a smile spread across his face.

"Look at you guys," he says, folding his arms across his chest. "Are you ready to be parents?"

Rachel and Finn exchange a glance and smile, almost nervously. "I guess," she says, looking back down at Ella. "I'm just kind of surprised that everything worked out." They look at one another and laugh, Rachel continuing to rock the baby in her arms. "I mean, we got really lucky when you think about it. Some people try to have babies and can't, or… well, they never get married and end up without kids. I think we had a really good idea."

Finn laughs and looks down at her, smiling. He had never believed it earlier, but that whole thing they say about newly crowned mothers having an eternal glow about them is definitely true. For the nine years he's known Rachel, he's never seen her quite this happy before. It beats the time she passed her first semester finals and her first paying gig and when she got the telephone call that put her on Broadway. This is definitely the happiest he's ever seen her.

He gets caught there for a moment, admiring how beautiful she looks even though she's just gone through what he's sure is the most painful thing in the entire world that someone can actually survive. Her smile glimmers and he can see just how excited she gets every time she locks eyes with Ella, which can end up being pretty distracting – he thinks it can be, anyway.

"Finn," Kurt's voice cuts in, snapping him out of his daze. Finn looks away from Rachel, who's got the baby's fist wrapped around her finger. "How did you end up deciding on the name?"

"Oh, um, we always knew that if it was a girl, we would have Katherine be the middle name, because it's my grandma's, but we picked Ella because of Cinderella." He shoves his hands in his pockets and sighs. "I think it's pretty suiting."

Rachel smiles and looks up at the three of them, adjusting the baby on her chest. "I like it," she says, staring back down at their daughter. (The term 'daughter' still hasn't completely washed over either of them yet.) She looks up at Finn for a moment and laughs lightly, picking up Ella in her arms. "Do you want to hold her?"

He feels like she's handing him this coveted treasure – and the more he thinks about it, she _is _his own little treasure, no matter how much they promised that they wouldn't be cheesy and clichéd about the whole baby thing. Rachel sits up slightly in the bed and hands her to him carefully, Finn intercepting her in his arms.

"Hey," he says to her, looking down at the baby in his arms. She has a constellation of freckles across her nose which she wrinkles up upon seeing him for the first time, her eyes wide as she looks up at him.

Rachel grins and looks up at him, resting her hands in her lap. "Who would have thought we would have made such a good looking kid, huh?" Finn laughs and rocks the baby slightly, Kurt and Blaine watching on with smiles that match Rachel's.

A nurse walks into the room a few moments after and tells Rachel that she needs to feed the baby, to which she shoots Finn a glance after her hands her Ella again.

"Finn, go take Kurt and Blaine out to the lobby and wait for Puck and Quinn."

Finn furrows his brow and scoffs for a second; looking down at her like she's crazy. "Rachel, I think I can stay in the room while you feed the baby. I've seen you naked before."

Rachel's eyes go wide and she lowers her voice, trying to make sure that the nurse doesn't hear her as she walks around the room, making little scratches against a clipboard as she stares at the machines she's currently hooked up to. "You've seen me naked once, and it's not like you're going to see it again, so leave."

He doesn't understand why she's making such a big deal about this. Maybe it's all of the hormones that are making her act up right now, because he doesn't see what the problem is. "Rachel, breastfeeding isn't sexy. I mean, it is for some people, but – that's not the point, okay? I've seen your boobs before."

Kurt and Blaine snicker to themselves by the doorway as they pretend not to be listening to them bicker.

"You've seen them once, and-"

"No, I've seen them more than once." Rachel's eyes get wider and she looks at Finn incredulously.

"That one time when we all went to Cape Cod for the day and you had to change into your swimsuit in my car, and when you got drunk during Pledge Week in college." She makes a face.

"Really?"

"Yeah. But it wasn't on purpose, you were just drunk and didn't realize that your dress was falling open, and-"

"Okay," she says, shutting her eyes. "You can stay; just… have Kurt and Blaine wait out in the lobby for Puck and Quinn. I don't want them to get lost and get angry or anything."

Finn laughs and looks down at her with a roll of his eyes. "Okay, Rachel. Whatever you say."

He feels like he knows that no matter how crazy she comes off to him at times that she'll be a great mother. Rachel's always been maternal; he's just not sure if he's always been paternal.

At the same time, he feels like he'll do a pretty good job. He's got Rachel to help him, after all. They've helped each other through practically everything else.

:.:.:

The Ella schedule ends up working out much smoother than they had originally thought it would. They write a lot of it off on living one floor away from one another, but it truly turns into a convenience for both of them. Rachel gets her during the day most of the time, simply because Finn's working, and when he gets back from work they normally spend time together, because they figure that it's what's best for Ella in the long run.

That, and they decide that the more time they spend together with her, the better their chances will be for both of them to witness all of her firsts –first steps, first words, first favorite Barbra song (Rachel's interest, not Finn's). It's not completely difficult like they thought it had the risk of becoming.

They're sitting on the couch one night, the baby asleep. They plan to alternate every other week with her during the night once Rachel starts working again, simply because the sleep schedule of a baby is iffy and ridiculous and they agree that they shouldn't subject just one of them to the suffering that comes with having a newborn and trying to sleep at the same time.

"Do you want to take Ella to the doctor tomorrow?" Rachel asks, looking over at Finn on the couch. He's busy watching an episode of _South Park _while she's busy knitting. She's decided that since it's winter (soon to be spring) in New York, she should learn how to knit baby sweaters and hats and booties for the time being. She doesn't return back to work until the summer because the season's over, so she's decided to spend as much time learning about her baby as possible. "I have an audition tomorrow."

Finn looks at her and groans. "I thought you said that you could take her," he starts, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm pressed for time at work, Rach. I need to finish two commercials by tomorrow, and-"

"She has to go in at noon," she says, looking up from her knitting needles. She's working on a little pink sweater with a matching hat that she's already finished. "I thought I'd be able to take her, but my audition starts at 11:30, so I can't. You could go over your lunch break." She sighs and slides over to him closer on the couch, smiling brightly. "It won't take that long, honestly. I took her in last time and it only lasted twenty minutes."

"So am I supposed to bring her back to work with me, then?" He scoffs and looks over at her, hard to believe what he's hearing. In a normal world, he could tell Rachel that 'maybe she needed to put theatre on the back burner, because now they have a child to raise,' but considering it's how Rachel actually makes a living, he knows that he can't. "Rach, I don't know if that's the best idea. I mean, I ran it over my boss one day as a joke, and there's this one guy that has to bring his kid in from time to time, but I just… Ella's a baby."

"And she'll fall asleep the second she's done at the doctor's," Rachel assures him. "Believe me, she will. She's always exhausted every time she leaves the doctor's."

Finn groans and looks at the TV. "Can you pick her up when you're done?"

"Of course," she says, her voice still bright. "I'll only be gone for a little over an hour, so I can come get her on my way home." She watches as Finn sighs, looking upset. She reaches for his hand and squeezes it, smiling sweetly. "Hey," she reminds him, still smiling. "It's going to be fine. It's weird because we're still figuring everything out, Finn. Give it a few months and everything will be all ironed out."

He can only hope that she's right.

:.:.:

Everything does work out between them – better than he's expected. They switch off days and Ella seems happy and they're both happy, so no one's complaining.

Rachel gets cast in the new revival of _Bye Bye Birdie _as Kim MacAfee, and apparently it's a big deal because it's her first part after her departure from the last show she was in and a bunch of other complications Finn doesn't understand as Rachel relays them to him.

She's lost all of her baby weight and looks really good – better, actually, Finn thinks. He's kind of surprised that she hasn't started dating again, even though he's always been the one with the horrible girlfriend track record. For the nine years he's known her, Rachel's only been seriously involved with two or three guys, and has gone on a number of first dates she can probably count off on both hands. He's always thought she'd make good girlfriend material; not completely insane but still passionate about something, funny, and beautiful. He feels like he can admit to himself that he's always found Rachel to be striking – and not in the expected way, like how someone like Quinn is, but in her own unique way that makes her stand apart from other girls he's met.

It's how he had originally met Rachel, anyway. Puck introduced him to her after meeting her at a bar and told him that he wanted to ask her out – something Finn found pretty childish considering how old they were, and they didn't see her much after that.

Finn and Rachel happened to run into one another again during Pledge Week at their school and they hit it off immediately from there. Ever since then, they've been the best of friends, and nothing more. Rachel still kisses him every New Year's Eve when he doesn't have a date, but it's only on the cheek and it's nothing that even remotely suggests anything beyond the platonic relationship they have going for them.

He thinks that there's always been a small part that wonders about the 'what ifs' of the situation, and having Ella has only helped bring them to the forefront of his mind.

It doesn't help when she asks him about dating one night, either.

"Hey," she says from the kitchen one night, grabbing food for the both of them. They've ordered Chinese and Rachel's taken it upon herself to serve it onto their plates after putting Ella to bed. "Can I ask you something?"

She comes into the living room with their plates and Finn just nods, taking a sip of his beer. He's kind of glad that she hasn't been enforcing her whole 'no drinking in front of the baby' rule as much as he thinks she would have. "If it's a parenting thing, I wouldn't. I think we're both still pretty much in the dark when it comes to that."

She laughs and looks at him on the couch, sitting down next to him. "No, it's not," she say, still laughing to herself. "I was just… I was wondering when you think it would be a good idea to start dating again," she says, looking at him seriously. "Physically, I mean."

"Oh," Finn says, still piecing together all of the things she's said. His mind works for a minute and he looks at her. "_Oh,_" he says, coming to realization. "Like, what, the weight? Because you've lost all of it, Rach-"

"Not just the weight, but everything – like, my boobs, and I still feel like I haven't lost all of the weight from my stomach, and-"

"You look great," he tells her, smiling as he picks up his fork and throws the chopsticks she's put on his plate over to the side. "Like, seriously, I would totally hit that right now."

"Stop."

"Once you tell them that you just had a kid with your best friend, they won't be able to resist you."

"Oh, my God, Finn, stop." She laughs and picks up her chopsticks, stabbing a spring roll. "No, it's just… I met a guy the other day, and he seemed really nice, and I think there's the potential for something than just an awkward relationship, so I was wondering if I should ask you. You know, for the guy's perspective."

Finn laughs and looks down at his plate. "Yeah, Rach, go ahead. Go break your six month dry spell for real this time." He gives her a light punch in the arm. "You deserve it."

She laughs and takes a sip of her wine before looking down at her feet. "Actually, if I don't count the time we did it, that would make it fifteen months." Finn makes a noise and she shakes her head.

"That's over a year."

"Yeah."

"Well, then go and do it, Rach," he tells her, raising his beer bottle. "Or, do _him, _I guess."

She giggles and raises her wine glass to meet him, taking a sip along with him when they finish toasting. She's really happy that she has someone like Finn as a friend.

Not many women can say they have such a platonic relationship with a man, anyway.

:.:.:

One afternoon in late April, when it starts to get nicer outside, Finn decides to take Ella out in the stroller around Central Park. Whenever it's nice in New York, Central Park is where every single person flocks to, but he doesn't really care. Rachel ended up getting a stroller from some woman that's in her show with her as a gift, so he decides to finally take it out and put it to good use.

Ella's not speaking in complete sentences yet and she certainly hasn't said her first words, but she can gurgle and make noises that both Finn and Rachel have learned how to interpret, which he thinks is pretty cute. Even though she's just a little over a month old, she's probably the cutest baby he's ever seen – which he chalks up to being biased over his own kid, but he doesn't really care. He likes taking her out to Starbucks and to the park and to the mechanic's, because he feels like he's showing her off in a way. She hardly ever cries and she's almost always smiling, which is adorable.

She reminds him a lot of Rachel, and he wonders if she was like this when she was a baby.

Of course, Ella isn't singing like Rachel claims she was at one month old. Maybe his daughter takes more after him than her mother.

When he gets to the park, he walks Ella past the pigeons and watches as her eyes get big and she looks like she's smiling – he can't really be sure if she is or not, and even though Rachel's told him that all of her parenting books say that she won't start smiling until she's about six months old, he thinks that' pretty depressing and just tells himself that she's laughing.

They walk over the Bow Bridge and look down at the ducklings in the lake and he watches as a horse-drawn carriage passes them by on their other side, watching Ella light up as she watches the horse pass her by.

"Enjoy looking at those while you can," he says, tipping his head down to look at Ella. "Because your mom is never going to let you ride one of those.

He laughs to himself, looking around for a moment. He thinks that there's more to absorb in Central Park now that he has a kid to share it with. Rubbernecking and making surprised faces seem to be given the a-ok now that he has Ella with him.

Although, the next thing he sees isn't exactly something that becomes alright to scope out now that he has a daughter .

A girl walks in front of him, struggling with a dog. He tries to weave the stroller around so that he doesn't bump into her, but it's kind of hard not to.

The longer he looks at her, however, the more he decides that he wants to change his mind. Whoever it is that's walking in front of him isn't a girl. Rachel's a girl. The person in front of him is a woman.

He thinks back to what he had said to Rachel earlier and can't see why he can't apply it to his own life. If he can give Rachel the confidence to go back out into the dating world, then he can use it for himself. He doesn't see anything wrong with that.

"Yup, doggie," he says, looking down at Ella and raising his voice to make sure that she can hear him. "That's a cute doggie, huh, Elle?" The woman across the sidewalk pulls at the leash of her dog, causing it to sit at feet. She looks at him and brushes her hair away from her eyes.

"Sorry," Finn says, grinning. "She just got really excited about your dog, that's all.

She rolls her eyes and starts to pet her dog, looking up at him. "You know, that's a really cheap move," she says, laughing slightly. "Hitting on girls with a baby,"

Finn laughs and looks down at Ella and then back to the girl. "Well, look at you, bringing your dog into the park to hit on babies," he says, laughing. If you ask me, that's the cheap move."

She laughs and looks down at the dog, a smile spreading across her face. Finn decides right then and there that she's one of the prettiest people he's ever seen. She has long, dark hair and caramel skin, and has some of the longest legs he's ever seen.

"What's his name?" Finn asks, pointing down at the dog.

"I don't really know," the girl says, rubbing the dog's head. "He's my neighbor's; I'm just walking him." She smiles and looks at Ella, eyes bright. "Is that your baby?"

"Uh, yeah," he says, looking down at her in her stroller. "Hey, Ella, can you say 'hi?'" He looks at her expectantly. "Yeah, she's only a month old, so she's not exactly saying words yet." The woman laughs and looks back up at Finn.

"You're pretty charming, huh?"

"Yeah, well, I try to be." He smiles at her, causing her to smile back at her. "I'm Finn," he says, extending a hand out for her. She laughs and accepts it, looking back up at him.

"Santana," she says. "So she's one month old, huh?" She laughs for a moment. "Are you sure that you should be hitting on me, then? I mean, your kid's mom is probably wondering where you are."

"Oh, she's not – we're not… I'm not with her anymore, or at least we never really were together to begin with." He pauses for a moment, realizing what he sounds like. "I'm single."

"Okay," she says, laughing. "So you just forgot to wrap it up, or…"

"No, I just… look, why don't I explain everything to you later. Over coffee?" Santana makes a face and continues to laugh at him.

"Coffee?"

"Just one cup of coffee."

She looks up at him with a smile and bats her eyes at him for a moment. "Sure," she says, surprising him. He lights up.

"Yeah?" She smiles.

"Yeah."


	5. V

"She's just- you don't expect to meet girls like that in the park, you know?" Rachel smiles and walks out of the kitchen with Ella in her arms, bringing her over to her high chair.

"Maybe Ella was your good luck charm," she says, setting Ella down in her high chair and tickling her in the stomah. She likes how she always knows how to make her laugh. It seems to bring a smile to her face even when she's in the worst of moods. "What's her name?"

"Santana," he says, sounding like he's back in high school and daydreaming over a girl. "And she's a lawyer, Rach. A fucking lawyer!" Rachel turns over her shoulder and gives him the look she always gives him whenever he curses in front of Ella, making him roll his eyes. "Anyway, she's gorgeous, and - God, Rachel, she's skinny with huge boobs. Do you know how hard it is to find a skinny girl with huge boobs?"

Rachel sighs and adjusts Ella's bib, wiping her chin with it. She feels like the benefits of having a girl won't come until she gets to sit behind her on her bed and braid her hair while she relays her day to her.

"God forbid you like anything about her personality," she says off-handedly, paying more attention to Ella than whatever it is Finn's saying.

"Oh, but that's the thing," he says, sitting up on the couch and watching Rachel as she feeds Ella. "She's funny, and she's nice, and she's just really, really great."

Rachel smiles and looks back at Ella, her eyes wide as she feeds her. "Well, clearly whoever this is must like you enough to not just leave things at sex, because you've been seeing each other for the past four months." She smiles as Ella makes a face at her. "Can I meet her?"

Finn thinks about it for a moment, because part of him is afraid that Rachel will just judge him for having a girlfriend like Santana - simply because it's Rachel and she treats him more like her son than her friend sometimes. "You're not going to say anything about how we've been seeing eachother for more than six weeks?" He laughs for a moment and gets off the couch, walking up to Rachel and smiling as Ella looks at him. "Wow. What a first."

"Well, that's quite an accomplishment for you," she says, turning around. She needs to tip her head up to look at him.

"I don't know," he says, still looking at Ella. "I mean, what, do you want to tag along on a date? Because I could see how that could really awkward." He pauses. "Especially with you." Rachel rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips.

"Not go on a date with you," she says. "Just... I don't know, meet her at some point. Preferrably not at an engagement party or a wedding. Clearly she must be out of her mind if she wants to spend that much of her free time with you."

Finn sighs and gets down on his knees next to Rachel, taking the spoon from her hands and offering the green puree to Ella. He looks down at it and makes a face. "What kind of organic crap is this?"

"Gluten-free, organic, vegan baby food," she says, a smile spreading across her face. "What?"

Finn smells it and shakes his head, eyes pinching shut. "God, no wonder her diapers always smell so bad."

"Her diapers smell bad because she's a baby," she tells him. "You would smell bad too if you shit your pants all the time." Her eyes grow wide and she reaches out to grab Ella's hand, picking it up in her own. "Mama didn't mean to say that, sweetie," she says, Finn snickering in the background. Ella starts to giggle.

"Mama hardly ever swears," Finn says as a side to Ella. "So consider that the one and only time you get to hear it." Rachel rolls her eyes and looks at him by her side, still laughing at her expense. "Hey, speaking of swearing, have you, um..." He forms a circle with his left hand and slides his right pointer finger into it, causing Rachel to gasp. "You know, taken care of that yet?"

"You're disgusting," she says, shaking her head. "And that wasn't funny at all." She takes a beat. "But no, I've just been really busy with rehearsals and taking care of Ella, so getting laid isn't exactly top priority right now." She starts laughing and stands. "You'd think with all of the time I've spent with you, I would just acquire that philosophy by means of osmosis." She continues to laugh and watches Finn as he continues to feed Ella, her smile growing wider.

"Why don't you go out on one of those speed dating thins?" Rachel grimaces.

"Because those are for people who are desperate for a boyfriend," she tells him. "I don't think I'm at the complete end of my rope. I'm just... at a knot right now."

"What about the guy you have to make out with every night in your show?"

"Gay."

"The other guy?"

"Married. With a baby on the way too, so no."

Finn finishes feeding Ella and she smiles, starting to giggle. Rachel makes a face and lifts her out of her high chair, babbling something that Finn still thinks is kind of cute, even though all of their friends think otherwise (even though they did the exact same thing when they had their babies).

"Do you need to feed her, or something?" Rachel looks up at him and shakes her head, adjusting Ella in her arms.

"I need to be at the theatre in half an hour," she tells him, looking into the kitchen. "So you can just put her on a bottle tonight. I have some in the fridge, but make sure to give her the right one - I'm trying to put her on formula." Finn makes a face.

"That stuff's expensive, Rach-"

"I can't handle feeding her at night anymore, because I'm not going to be home at night." She looks at him. "Unless you want to start breastfeeding." He grimaces and shakes his head.

"Please stop talking about it," he says, looking like he's just swallowed vinegar. "I just... I don't need to know about your boobs and what comes out of them and... yeah. Formula's fine." She rolls her eyes and looks back down at Ella, smiling with her eyes wide. Finn's noticed that she changes entirely every time she looks down at Ella, and it's kind of cute.

"Oh, and I'm not going to be home until late tonight," she adds, looking back at him. "I mean, I could pick her up on my way up, but I don't want to wake her up and-"

"No, it's fine." He looks at Ella and smiles. "We can have our own night together, right?" Rachel smiles and hands Ella to him before turning around and making her way to her bedroom, emerging moments later with a garment bag and a nicer purse than her usual one. "Woah, did they make you bring home your costume to iron or something?"

She shakes her head and bends down to lace up her tennis shoes. "No, it's for tonight. There's a big backer party at this bar in Chelsea tonight, and they want us all to go." Finn laughs and she rolls her eyes. "And you know, you shouldn't be laughing, because for all you know, I'm going to find someone at the bar. And maybe, Finn Hudson, I'll get laid tonight."

He bursts out laughing and shakes his head as she gathers her things, still with this dumb expression stuck to her face. "Yeah, you do that, Rach." She grabs her keys from the dish she keeps them in on the table nearby and walks out the door, waving goodbye to the two of them.

She really does think that Finn makes an excellent father.

:.:.:

She doesn't tell Finn (or rather, _forgets_ to) that she's bringing Quinn along as her plus one. Ever since Ella's been born, she hasn't had much time to spend with anyone.

"Oh, it's fine," the blonde says, stirring her cocktail around in her hand. "I never had the time to see you when Beth was born." She takes a sip of her drink and glances down at Rachel, her eyes going wide. "Oh, my God, Rach, is that the dress I bought for you in Brooklyn at that street fair last summer?" She smiles and nudges her in the chest. "You really-"

"Fill it a lot better?" Rachel rolls her eyes. "Yeah, I know. I fill all of my shirts much better than before now." Quinn starts to laugh and the girls exchange a glance. "I stopped feeding her about two weeks ago, though, so I'm kind of going to miss it." Quinn laughs.

"You look great," she says, smiling. "You haven't met anyone yet though, have you?" Rachel starts to laugh and shakes her head.

"No, but Finn has," she says, her smile slowly turning into a smirk. "Some girl named Santana that he met in the park one day a few months ago." Quinn starts to laugh, resting a hand on her shoulder. "You sound like you're jealous," she says, scoffing. "Youguys are allowed to date other people, right? Or did you both decide that was off-limits once Ella was born?"

"No, we're allowed to see other people," she says, laughing. "It's a complete Sister Wives situation, but we're not married. And I'm not jealous," she says, folding her arms over her chest. Finn has a girlfriend, and good for him. He's always been the one who's had a problem with keeping a girlfriend, so she should be glad that he's finally been able to find someone who's consistent in his life who seems to care about him (well, besides her, but she's different). "I just... I think he has it easier than me. It's cute when a man looks like he's raising a kid on his own. Girls pity him for being 'stuck with a kid.' But when it's the other way around, I just look like I forgot a condom during a one night stand and now I have all of this extra baggage I come along with." Quinn nods, laughing slightly.

"Well, that kind of is what you did," she reminds her, laughing slightly. "I mean, the whole one night stand thing." Rachel shoots her a look that indicates that she's not helping and she tries to change the subject. "You should just tell them your situation," she says, taking a sip of her drink. "I mean, it's kind of cute all on its own. Why, is there anyone you've met since the last guy you dated?"

"Not really," she says, pouting slightly. "I mean, Finn's already told me to 'branch out,' but I just... I don't want to."

The girls look around the bar for a moment, Rachel still nursing her ginger ale. Minutes later, however, Quinn perks up in her chair, poking Rachel in the side.

"Hey, that guy has been staring at you for the past five minutes," she says, trying to point across the bar while staying inconspicuous. Rachel looks up from her drink and across the bar, smiling slightly. There is someone looking at her from across the bar - she's not insecure enough anymore to try and push at Quinn and say 'no, he's staring at you,' because he's clearly looking at her. The blonde starts to giggle and Rachel tries to make her stop, but she can't.

"Oh, God, Rach, you need to go introduce yourself," she says, urging her out of her chair. "I'll watch your drink. Go."

Rachel looks down and gives herself a once over before making her way over, adjusting her hair nervously. She hasn't flirted with someone (and given an honest try) in over a year. She hopes that she isn't too rusty.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but notice you staring from across the bar," she says, flipping her hair over her shoulder. She smiles and knows that she isn't hardly coming off at all in the way she'd like, but she doesn't really think that there's anything she can do about it. He laughs and stands from his barstool, wiping his hands off on his pants.

"I guess now's a pretty bad time to tell you that I was staring at the girl you were sitting next to." Rachel's face starts to fall and he laughs. "I was totally joking."

They share a laugh and Rachel leans against the bar, shooting a side glance to Quinn. She's sitting across the bar, grinning brightly.

"I'm Rachel," she says, extending a hand for him. "Are you a producer, or..."

"No, actually, I'm in the new production of _Les Mis_," he says, taking her hand and shaking it firmly. "Brody, by the way."

"Well, Brody, it's nice to meet you," she says, starting to play with the necklace hanging down her collar. "Most guys would think they were being smooth and try to kiss the hand of whatever girl offered it to them, so you're definitely a breath of fresh air." He laughs and she giggles softly, looking up at him through her lashes. Maybe she's not as bad as she though.

"You're funny," he says, laughing. He reaches up to rub the back of his neck, Rachel's eyes flicking up to notice it. Finn does the same thing when he's nervous. "So are you an actress, or...?"

"I'm in _Bye Bye Birdie,_" she says, still smiling brightly. "I was in _Cinderella _about a year ago, but I took a break to-" She stops herself before she can go any further. Maybe she doesn't need to tell him right away about Ella, or Finn, or anything like that. It's not completely imperative to tell some guy she's just talking to at the bar.

"Oh, wow," he says, nodding along with her. She giggles and traces the countertop nervously. "So you're like an old pro, huh?"

She smiles. "I guess you could say that."

:.:.:

They crash through her front door and she almost wants to start laughing or give herself a cheer because she hasn't done this in so long, and everything about it feels like it's brand new again. She can feel his hands on her waist and his breath hot against her neck as he kisses her, her fingers scraping down his chest and head tipped back, hair tossed wildly behind her.

She manages to steer them to her bedroom, feeling him reach for the zipper of her dress as she reaches the foot of her bed.

It doesn't take long before they're both on her bed, hands moving haphazadly across eachothers' bodies and lips pressing messy, quick kisses everywhere. She doesn't mean to say it - really, she doesn't, but it just slips out of nowhere, too loud for her to deny saying. She thinks it's because it's the first time she's had sex with anyone besides Finn for over a year. It's getting to her head.

"I have a daughter." She's looking at him dead on, eyes wide and lips swollen. He doesn't stop kissing her; both of them sounding drunk.

"Yeah," he says, hands sliding up her sides and trying to undo the clasp on her bra (she's never really met a man who can do it without any kind of complication). "That's great."

The normal Rachel wants to stop him and make sure that he's heard her clearly, because this could very well be a dealbreaker, but then she remembers that he's probably just concerned about the sex right now and doesn't care too much about whether or not she has a daughter, or a son, or a husband or a third eye, for that matter.

And the more she lets herself think about it, the more she realizes that she doesn't need to think.

:.:.:

"Okay, you can't tell Mama about this, alright?" He looks at Ella and lays her down in her crib, a drowsy look on her face. This is why he's glad Rachel isn't completely paranoid and hasn't installed a nanny cam in his apartment yet, because sometimes accidents happen and the baseball game he had been watching on TV goes a few innings longer than expected and he accidentally lets their daughter fall asleep on the couch and she just so happens to be sitting dangerously close to his beer even though she hasn't touched it.

Yeah. He definitely wins Parent of the Year for that one.

Ella just looks at him with little half moons for eyes and he covers her with her blanket, giving her a rub on the side before leaving the room and shutting out the light. He knows that she won't say anything just because she can't, but he still thinks that it's something he should cover before putting her to bed.

Keeping things from Rachel is probably always going to be what keeps his relationship with Ella normal, he realizes.

He walks back out to his couch and starts flipping through the channels, reclining back on the couch slightly. For a moment, he feels like falling asleep, but he's quickly alerted by the sound coming from upstairs. It sounds like someone's moving furniture around, except they're just moving one specific thing and can't decide where to put it, so it's being pushed across the room.

And then he hears the breathy moans after every push of the furniture and he realizes, and he laughs to himself for a moment because all he can think about is the little old lady who lives next door, and even though that's gross, it's still pretty funny, but he's wrong.

Because then he remembers who lives directly upstairs from him.

Finn sits up on the couch and turns the volume down on the TV for just a moment, because if he's right in his thinking, then he's going to think that he played some kind of part in the success she's having tonight.

He pulls out his phone from his pocket and starts to type a text for her, laughing to himself.

It's kind of sad that at eleven thirty at night he can only think of 'Congratu**lay**tions!' as a joke, but he sends it to her anyway.

It's not really his business, after all.


	6. VI

She shows up the next morning at Finn's apartment, just because she feels like she needs to tell someone about it.

And even though Finn doesn't really want to hear about it, he doesn't tell her outright, because he feels like she needs the support and should be given the right to brag about whoever it was she ended up sleeping with last night. It's been over a year, anyway.

"Oh, my God, Finn, it was just... I hadn't done it in so long, y'know? I was afraid that I was like, going to forget how everything worked."

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to concentrate on his coffee instead of whatever it is that Rachel keeps on going on about.

"Yeah, Rach, that's great."

She sits up on the couch and grabs onto her sweater. She looks like she's talking to herself instead of talking to Finn. "And you know, I think that whole myth about everything getting... _not as great _down there after you have a baby is a myth," she says, giggling slightly. "Of course, he was so big that it probably cancelled out anything that was... well, less than appreciated, but-"

"Rachel," Finn interrupts, looking at her sternly. She looks up at him and makes the connection - or least what she thinks is the connection.

"Oh, God, Finn, I'm sorry - you were great, you know, when we did it and everything, but I think I wasn't in the same mindset because - well, we're _friends, _and you're just not thinking about how great it feels to have sex with your best friend when you're not doing it for fun."

Finn rolls his eyes and raises his voice slightly. "Hey, Rachel?"

She seems to snap out of her tangent and looks up at Finn again, blushing slightly.

"Our daughter was up until four in the morning crying last night," he says bitterly.

Rachel just shrugs. "Well, did you feed her like I told you to? She was probably just hungry-"

"No, that's the thing. She wasn't hungry, and she didn't need her diaper changed, and she didn't have gas, or whatever it is your dumb parenting book says can happen. She was just crying to cry."

"Well, Finn, I'm sorry, but I was kind of busy last night, and-"

He sighs and looks over at her, clearly upset. "Look, Rach, I don't want get upset over nothing, or whatever, but I'm tired. And the last thing I want to hear about is your sex life." She laughs slightly to herself, causing a smile to start to grow on Finn's face.

"I was talking pretty excessively about it," she says, looking down into her lap. "Is she asleep right now?" Finn nods.

"If she can sleep for the rest of the day, I'll be happy."

Rachel smiles and moves over on the couch so that she's sitting closer to Finn, feeling him wrap his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. She makes a face as he pulls her closer to him and they both laugh, Rachel resting her head on his shoulder.

"So, is this guy just someone you decided to hook up with, or are you going to make an actual effort with him?"

Rachel laughs and pulls her hair over her shoulder, looking up at Finn. "No, we, um, exchanged phone numbers this morning. He made me breakfast." Finn makes a face and smiles.

"Wow, so a chef that's really good in bed? Jesus, Rachel, that sounds like your kind of guy."

She laughs and shakes her head. "No, he's an actor. That's why I met him last night. Although, if he ever lost his voice or gained fifty pounds, I could definitely see a great future for him in the culinary arts."

Finn feels like he should feel a bit happier for her. It's not like Rachel's had the luck he's had in going on dates in the past year or so. Of course, Rachel's always been more selective than him when it comes to who she dates and who she sleeps with, but he knows that deep down, he should be congratulating her for finding a guy that she seems to like so much. She's his best friend, and he's hers, and he's always been told that friends are supposed to share their accomplishments with one another.

He just doesn't know why he's not as excited for Rachel as he feels he should be.

"Anyway, we're going out to dinner this Monday," she says, grabbing Finn's sleeve and starting to play with absentmindedly. "So I need you to watch Ella just for a few hours - and I can pick her up afterwards, since I know it's my night, and-"

"It's fine, Rach," he tells her, laughing to himself. "Santana was going to come over that night, but I'm sure she won't mind it if Ella's here."

Rachel laughs and tips her head up to look at Finn. "You two were going to have sex that night, weren't you?"

"No, it's just-" He gets cut off by Rachel's laughter. "You know, you're just being dumb," he says, laughing and jabbing her in the sides. She giggles and shakes her head. "I didn't even ask what this guy's name is," he says, looking down at her.

"Brody," she says, sighing. He rolls his eyes. "He's just so charming, and handsome, and good with his hands..."

"Okay," Finn says, stopping her before she gets ahead of herself. She starts to giggle again. "Did you bother to tell him about Ella?"

"Yes," she says. "But I'm not going to have him meet her just yet. We're not serious, so I don't see why I should start making things serious all of a sudden."

Finn nods and they look at one another, Rachel's eyes falling shut after a while. They just sit that way for a while, Rachel adjusting herself on the couch so that she can kick her legs out from underneath her and is more comfortable with her head on his shoulder. She likes it like this, with Finn.

He looks down at her and smiles. "What time do you need to be at work today?"

She yaws, eyes still shut. "Not until six. Why?"

Finn smiles to himself. "I don't know. Just because." Rachel giggles and adjusts herself on the couch. This is the quietest it's ever been since Ella's been born.

"Hey, Finn?"

"Yeah?"

"Drowning or burning?"

He laughs and tips his head back on the couch, letting his eyes fall shut. "I don't know," he says, thinking it over. "Drowning supposed to be really painful."

"But burning is like, someone lighting you on fire."

He opens his eyes for a moment and looks down at her, her eyes still shut. He feels weird to even think about someone like Rachel in any capacity other than a friend, but she's really pretty. She's always been pretty, but ever since Ella was born, she's always been glowing; like that thing they say about expecting and new mothers having a glow about them that never seems to wear off. He laughs for a moment as he looks at her, hoping that she doesn't notice.

"Okay, can I like, pick how I die if I burn? Like what if someone throws a pot of melted gold on me like they did in _Game of Thrones_?"

He prompts Rachel to sit up and look at him, eyes wide and face contorted into a confused twist. "How would getting melting gold poured on your head be any better just being set on fire?" She shudders slightly, causing Finn to laugh. "No. You get set on fire or you drown. We never change the rules of this."

Finn laughs at her and she settles back down to the position she had been in, laughing slightly.

"Okay, fine. Drowning." She doesn't say anything. "Because... I don't know. It's underwater."

He can feel Rachel start to giggle against his shoulder.

:.:.:

Finn gets a phone call in the middle of the night during the week that causes him to sit upright in bed. He accidentally kicks Santana in the side, who sits up in bed and gives him a look.

"Yeah?" He says into the phone, wiping his face. It's three-thirty in the morning and Rachel's decided to call him. Clearly it's something important, but he can't possibly think of something quite important enough to call him at three-thirty in the morning when he needs to work the following morning.

Santana looks at him and ties her hair into a knot at the top of her head, clutching a sheet to her chest.

"Yeah, Rach, I'll be up there soon. Sure. Yeah - no, I promise, it's nothing. Bye." He hangs up the phone and slides out of bed, finding his boxers on the floor and pulling them on. Santana rolls over onto her side and watches him, making a face.

"Who was that?"

"Rachel," he says, walking over to his closet and finding a shirt, pulling it over his head. "The baby's up and she can't get it to stop crying and she was really, really freaking out." Santana finds her bra among the sheets and snaps it back on, adjusting the straps on her shoulders. "I'll be back down as soon as I can, I promise."

"I'd ask if I could come with you, but I don't think this seems like the prime opportunity to meet your kid's mom," she says, laughing slightly. "I hope she's alright."

"Oh, yeah, she's fine," Finn says, stopping by the side of the bed and looking down at Santana. "She's just kind of frustrated, that's all." Santana pouts slightly and rolls back over in bed, watching as Finn walks out of the room. "I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Alright," she says, in the middle of a yawn. "I'll see you in the morning, then." Finn hears her crash back down onto the bed as he slides into a pair of shoes, locking the door to his apartment behind him.

He really hopes that this won't take too long.

:.:.:

When Finn gets upstairs, he walks down to Rachel's apartment and opens the door after realizing that she's left the door unlocked. it's dark inside besides the bright glow from the hallway, coming from what Finn assumes is Ella's nursery. He can already hear Ella screaming and Rachel's shaken voice trying to calm her down, and he somehow already knows that he's in for a long night.

There's a part of him that feels kind of bad, because he's left Rachel on her own for the night with _their _screaming and crying kid while he's been out on a date with Santana.

Then again, she left him in the exact same position when she had gone out a few days ago, so maybe he shouldn't feel so bad.

"Hey," he says, knocking on the frame of the door after poking his head through to see her. Rachel turns around and he can see just how worried she is from the second he sees her. "How's everything going?"

"I don't know what's wrong with her," she says, continuing to bounce Ella in her arms as she paces around the room. "I tried to feed her, and I changed her diaper, and - I just don't know what's wrong with her."

"Did you try the mobile?"

Rachel nods, tears beginning to well in her eyes. "Yeah, I tried everything, Finn, and I don't know what to do. I feel like I broke her." Finn laughs slightly to himself and puts his arms out, causing Rachel to pass Ella to him, still a little screaming ball of pink and red in his arms.

"Hey, Elle, it's almost four in the morning," he whispers, looking down at Ella with a smile. Rachel shuffles over to him and crosses her arms over her chest, looking up at him as he looks at Ella. "You're keeping Mama awake, kiddo." He rocks her in his arms, but nothing seems to change. She's still crying and it causes Rachel to start crying again, looking at Finn desperately.

"What was it that you did the other night when she wouldn't stop crying?" Finn looks at her for a moment, sighing before he says anything. Rachel looks back at him, eyes wide. She really looks like she doesn't know what to do with herself - which is kind of scary, because Rachel always knows what to do. Her hair is pushed up on one side of her head and she's wearing an old tank top with a pair of pajama shorts that Finn knows she would never want to be caught dead in. He looks at her and she sighs, pulling her hair over her shoulder. "Well?"

"Remember that one CD you gave me last year? You know, the one with you on it?"

She nods desperately. "The _Cinderella_ cast recording?"

"Yeah, yeah." Rachel sighs. "You know, I put it in because I figured she would want to hear her mom sing, y'know?" Rachel starts to make her way out of the room and stops in the hallway, looking back at Finn.

"Well, let me see if I can find my copy, and-"

"No, Rach, wait," Finn says, raising his voice over Ella's screams. Rachel stops on her way to her room and looks at Finn, crossing her arms over her chest again. "Maybe if you just sing to her, she'll stop."

Rachel walks back into the room and looks up at Finn, sighing deeply. "I don't know, I just... it's almost four in the morning, and I'm not going to sound very good, and-"

"Hey." Finn interrupts her, causing her to jump slightly. "She's not going to care if you sound bad, Rach. Neither am I." He sighs and watches Rachel as she looks up at him, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. "You're going to sound fine no matter what time it is."

Rachel clears her throat and looks at Finn, taking Ella from Finn's arms and cradling her in her own, beginning to sing to her.

Finn walks back to the crib and leans against it, sighing and watching as Rachel paces around the room and sings to Ella - a song he kind of recognizes hearing her sing when she was in _Cinderella _and they had all gone to see her in it. The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes how long it's been since he's heard Rachel sing - and not just on some stupid CD that she'd given him or hearing her goof off and pretend to sound like she's horrible when they sing along to the radio.

He thinks that this is when she sounds the prettiest - when she's not trying to be loud or sound better than the other girls in the room. She's quiet and subdued and is smiling down at their daughter, who's stopped crying. Now she's just looking back up at Rachel with wide eyes, Rachel looking back down at her with a smile.

She continues to walk her around the room until Ella starts to fall asleep, causing Rachel to turn over her shoulder and look at Finn with a smile on her face, beaming back at him. He laughs softly and watches as she walks over to the crib, setting her down for bed and backing up as she falls asleep.

Finn starts to laugh as Rachel looks at him, watching as a smile grows on her face. "Yeah, see, she thinks that her mom is pretty-"

He's interrupted by Rachel attacking him with a hug.

"Thank you," she sighs, feeling herself start to become swallowed up in his arms. "Really, Finn, you have no idea."

He smiles and rubs her back, laughing to himself. "No, hey, that was all you. Really, Rach. Your voice is beautiful."

She rolls her eyes and pulls away slightly to look up at him. "You're just saying that."

"No, I'm not."

They laugh and Finn waves her goodbye, but Rachel stops him before she makes her way back to her bedroom.

"Hey, did you just want to stay until you needed to go for work? I mean, it's already four, and I could just make breakfast-"

"No," he says, interrupting her slightly. "I mean, I'd love to, Rach, but Santana's spending the night, and-"

"Oh, no, I understand," she says, nodding slowly. "Go back to your girlfriend." She laughs slightly and walks out to the front door with him. "I'll... see you, I guess."

Finn smiles before shutting the door behind him, now in the doorway. "Yeah. I'll see you."

She offers him a small wave before he shuts the door and she sighs, running a hand through her hair.

She can always make breakfast for herself, anyway.

:.:.:

Rachel's show opens on Ella's six month birthday, and Finn tells her that he'll take care of her for the week while she's busy performing. She's always told him that the opening week is the busiest week of any show, and he totally understands that.

Kurt and Blaine can't come because they can't find a sitter for Charlotte, and Puck and Quinn don't go because they're going to some preschool orientation thing for Beth.

Rachel doesn't see anything wrong with it. She has Brody, anyway. And he's managed to take the night off and go to her show, so she's excited.

He meets her backstage with a bouquet of her favorite flowers (gardenias, of course) and kisses her after telling her what a great job she'd done.

"Thank you," she says, letting her hands clasp together behind his neck and practically hanging off of him. "I'm so glad you were able to get the night off," she continues, taking the bouquet from him and placing it on the counter in her dressing room. "All of my friends were busy, and I know that it's wrong to be upset at them for it, but-"

"I'm sure they would have loved to see you," he says, following her into her dressing room and walking up to a on a couch in the corner. "And the show's going to be running for a while, Rachel. I'm sure they'll see you." She giggles and walks up to him, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she stands in his arms.

"Ella's six months old today, you know," she says, her voice falling into a whisper. She can feel Brody rub her arm and looks up at him, smiling slightly. "I just... I feel bad, y'know? You turn six months old and your mom isn't there to celebrate it with you," she says, frowning slightly. Brody looks down at her with a smile.

"Rachel, I don't think she's going to remember anything from when she was six months old," he reminds her. "I mean, do you remember anything from when you were that young?"

She thinks about the question for a moment. "I won my first beauty pageant when I was six months old," she says, causing Brody to laugh.

"Will I ever get to meet this mysterious Ella?" Brody asks, still laughing. "You talk about her so much and I still haven't seen her."

"I know," she says, walking away from him and picking up her clothes in a pile on the counter. "It's just... the timing's never been right, and I try and have you come over when she's with Finn so I don't have to hire a sitter, and... the schedule we have with her just works out so well with two people." She blushes slightly and turns around so her back's facing him. "Will you?"

Brody finds the zipper on the back of her dress and pulls it down, the pink fabric beginning to bunch at her waist. "Well, why don't you just have me meet Finn then, too? I mean, he must be a pretty important guy in your life if you trusted him to father your kid."

Rachel turns around and looks at him, kicking her dress off and picking it up from the floor. "He's just a friend," she assures him, hanging her dress up on a clothing rack nearby. "We just... well, you know. I've told you why we had Ella already."

Brody laughs. "I know, but it's so cute when you get all worked up about making sure I know that Finn's just a friend of yours." Rachel shakes her head and looks back over her shoulder at Brody, smiling.

"You know, you could just come with me to the Hamptons over New Year's and meet everyone," she suggests, walking back over to him. She's still standing in just her underwear, but she doesn't feel uncomfortable in the least. She's somewhat surprised with herself.

Brody makes a face, mouth hanging open. "You have a house in the Hamptons? Jesus, Rachel."

She laughs and shakes her head. "No, Brody, we just - there's six of us, and every year we all pool a bunch of money together and rent a house out in the Hamptons for New Year's Eve." He nods along with her and she sits down on the couch next to him, offering him to sit next to her, and he obliges. "Anyway, I don't see why you can't come with us this year. It would be a great way for you to meet everyone, and it's not like you'd be under a lot of pressure, or anything. We just eat and drink and sleep all weekend."

Brody starts to tickle her in the side and she doubles over giggling, falling onto her side on the couch. "As long as by sleeping, you mean staying in bed all day and not sleeping." She leans up slightly and catches his lips in a kiss, smiling against him.

"Of course," she says, sitting up on the couch again. "It'll be great. I promise."

:.:.:

"So it's just some big get-together you guys all have out in the Hamptons?" Santana looks at Finn on the couch, Ella sitting between them. Finn's kind of surprised over how well Santana's taken to Ella, and vice-versa. "And you want me to come with you guys?"

"It's super low key, and you wouldn't be intruding on anything," he says, looking over at her on the couch. Santana sighs and looks down in her lap.

"Let me see if I can get the weekend off of work, and we'll see." She looks up at him and laughs, causing Finn to smile. She looks down at Ella and laughs for a moment, looking back up at Finn. "I would kiss you right now, but, you know... your kid's kind of in the way."

They both laugh and Ella tips her head up to look at Finn, giggling.

He hopes Rachel doesn't mind too much.


	7. VII

"You're inviting your new boyfriend to the Hamptons with us?" Kurt's standing in the kitchen, chopping up carrots for a soup he's making for dinner. Charlotte's standing at his feet and tugging at his pant leg, whining about how she's hungry and is wondering where Blaine is. It's getting colder outside, so soup seems to be the best thing to make for dinner. Not only that, but it's easier and cheaper than ordering in a pizza. "Rachel, how long have you been dating this guy?"

Rachel sighs into the phone and looks down at Ella, lying down on the couch next to her. It's November and it's colder outside; the first snow starting to fall and everyone starts becoming excited about Thanksgiving and Christmas. She smiles at her for a moment and Ella starts to giggle, her small hand reaching up for Rachel and scooting towards her on the couch. "About three months," she says, leaning over to pick up Ella in her arms, setting her in her lap. "It's going to be fine, Kurt. He's really sweet, and he's really excited to meet all of you guys." She can hear Kurt start to sigh over the phone and sits up on the couch, bringing Ella up with her. "You can't start judging me like this for no reason, Kurt. Brody's really nice, and-"

"No, it's not that," he says, pinching the phone between his ear and his shoulder. "It's just... well."

Rachel furrows her brow and looks down at Ella, who looks back up at her mother with a confused look on her face. "What?"

Kurt stops what he's doing in the kitchen and leans against the counter, grabbing the phone in his hand again. "You know that Finn's bringing his girlfriend, right?"

Rachel looks at Ella and feels her stomach twist itself into a knot. She doesn't know why she feels like she wants to throw up all of a sudden, but she does, and there's really nothing she can do about it. "H-He's what?"

Kurt makes a face for a moment, shooing Charlotte out of the room. "Rachel, you sound nervous." He smiles slightly. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no," she says, shaking her head. Her stomach still feels like it's in a knot. "It's just... I didn't think he was going to bring Santana, that's all." She starts to play with Ella's hair and she giggles, causing Rachel to try and bring a smile to her face. "Are you sure he is?"

"Last time I talked to him, she was coming with," Kurt says into the phone. "Have you ever met her, Rach?"

"No," she says, tipping her head to the side and pursing her lips together. "But Finn's shown me pictures of her before. She's beautiful."

"Yeah," Kurt says, a smile still stuck to his face. "Well, you'll both have your significant others there. It'll be great. We'll all go to the fudge factory together and I'll find new Pinterest recipes to make when we're up there."

Rachel sighs and looks back down at Ella, a pout still stuck to her face. "Alright. I should go. I should probably put Ella to bed."

Kurt smiles. "Alright, Rach. I'll see you after Thanksgiving. Love you."

"I love you too," she says, hanging up her phone. She drops it on the couch and looks at Ella, who starts giggling.

"Mama," she gurgles, hands reaching out for Rachel. It causes Rachel to sit up and her eyes go wide, immediately forgetting about Finn and his girlfriend for a moment.

"Oh, my God," she says, smiling. "Oh, my God, Ella!" She picks her up in her arms and presses a kiss to her cheek, causing Ella to giggle. Rachel bends down and grabs her phone from the couch, punching in a number and dialing Finn as fast as she can.

He answers, sighing on the other line.

"Yeah, Rach?"

"Finn, you need to come over here right now." She looks at Ella and tries to shuffle her and her phone around in her hands at the same time. "Ella just said her first word!"

She can hear Finn smile on the other line, causing her to smile even wider. "Oh, God, Rach, that's great!" She giggles and bounces Ella in her arms slightly, who's still groping her hands and reaching out for Rachel while still in her arms.

"Yeah," she says, looking over at Ella, unable to wipe the smile from her face. "Do you want to come see her? I bet if you do, she'll do it again."

She hears him sigh over the phone and her smile slowly starts to fade away from her face. "I would, Rach, but I was just going to bed," he says. She nods her head and looks at Ella again, feeling her small hands grab at either side of her face. "Do you think you could get her to say it over the phone for me?"

"Oh, yeah," Rachel says, placing her phone down on the coffee table and turning the speaker setting on. She sits down on the couch and places Ella in her lap, who looks up at her with a smile. "Ella, what was it you just said?" She smiles and her eyes go wide as she looks down at her, but Ella doesn't say anything. Rachel bounces her knee slightly and continues to make a face, hoping that she'll prompt her to say something again. "Come on, sweetie. What was it that you just said to Mama?"

Nothing.

Finn rubs the back of his neck and sighs. "It's fine, Rach. I'm sure she'll say it again some time soon." He pauses for a moment. "Hey, did we ever figure out what we were going to do with her over Thanksgiving?"

"I thought I got her for Thanksgiving and then for Christmas you would get her because I would take her home for Hanukkah," she says, picking her phone back up and turning the speaker setting off. She's back to her original mood before Ella had said anything now; solemn and quiet and somewhat depressed, which hardly ever describes Rachel at all. She looks back at Ella and a small smile starts to grow across her face, grabbing Ella's hand and squeezing it gently in her own. "She's so excited to see her grandpa and grandpa, isn't she?"

Finn rolls his eyes and smiles. "That sounds fine," he tells her, laughing slightly. "I was just worried that we didn't know and would be all confused by the time Thanksgiving came around."

Rachel giggles slightly. "No, I... I think we'll be fine." She pauses and tells herself that now's the perfect time to wish him a 'goodnight' and hang up, because she really doesn't see the need in dragging out their conversation, but she doesn't stop herself and chooses to address the elephant in the room - or, rather, on the phone with both of them.

"Hey, Finn, um - Kurt told me that you were bringing Santana to the Hamptons with you for New Year's." It all comes out like one long, drawn out sentence that she can't find the end of. She sounds stupid.

There's a beat. "Oh, um, yeah," he says, nodding his head. "I just figured that since we've been so serious and all that it would make sense for her to come, and she's really excited, and - you're really going to like her, Rachel. She's excited to meet you, too."

Rachel smiles slightly and looks at Ella, who looks at her with a smile. "Oh, that's great," she says, trying to muster up a fake smile so that she can sound like she's actually enjoying what he's saying over the phone. She had learned it when she worked her job in high school at the mall. Always answer the phone with a smile on your face and you'll sound like you're actually happy, even when you're having the worst day ever. She doesn't know why she feels this way all of a sudden. She should be feeling great, of all things. She's bringing Brody with her, anyway, so it's not like she can feel jealous about Finn bringing Santana.

She _shouldn't_ feel jealous, anyway. She's got a boyfriend, and Finn's got a girlfriend, and they're not (they never could be) dating. It's the same kind of feeling she would feel when she was in school and all of the popular girls would end up with dates for the prom and Rachel would just end up going with a group of friends, glaring at people enviously and knowing that it was wrong - but something being wrong never really stopped her from doing it or wanting something.

But the more she thinks about it, Finn's her person. They've known each other since college and have seemed to be inseparable ever since. He's already promised her that she gets to approve whoever the girl is that he chooses to marry and she's already written him into her will (because even though she's only turning twenty seven this year, she likes to be prepared). Besides her parents, Finn's been the only real constant in her life. Quinn's her best friend and Kurt's her best gay friend, and then there's Finn. He seems to get his own shelf in her heart, and she's not quite sure if he's taking up the space dedicated for someone else or if he's just always going to be there.

"I'm really excited to meet her," she says, nodding her head slowly. "I'm sure that she must be a wonderful girl for staying with you so long."

She can hear Finn's excitement on the other line. "Yeah, she's pretty great," he says, sighing slightly.

Rachel decides to one-up him because - well, she really doesn't know why. It just feels right in the moment.

"Well, g-good, because I've invited Brody to come with me."

She can hear his surprise on the other line, but she doesn't feel anything.

"Yeah, he's really excited to come, and he's really excited to meet you, especially, I think, and - oh, Finn, Ella just loves him, and-"

"It sounds great, Rach." She makes a face and pouts slightly.

"It doesn't sound very great."

He sighs. "No, it's just - I'm sorry, I just had a rough day at work." He smiles slightly. "Mondays, y'know."

She giggles. "Actually, I wouldn't know."

He laughs and she hears him groan on the other end of the phone. "Have a great Thanksgiving, Rachel. I love you."

She furrows her brow and her eyes go wide slightly, looking over at Ella, who seems to mimic her expression. "What?"

"What? I d-didn't say anything," he says, covering his slip. Rachel looks at the phone, still confused.

"Finn, I-"

"Look, I'm really tired, Rach. Congrats on Ella saying her first words. Goodnight."

And before she can say anything else, he hangs up.

:.:.:

Thanksgiving goes over really well, or at least Rachel thinks that it does. Her dads seem to think that Ella's adorable and they can't stop talking about how she reminds them of Rachel when she was a baby - eventually prompting them to bring out the boxes upon boxes of baby books and pictures that they have of Rachel from when she was younger, spending more time looking through them and laughing than watching the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special that Rachel's trying to watch with Ella planted in her lap.

They seem to handle the whole baby situation quite fine - it's not like she's kept this a secret from them this entire time, and they've known Finn for about as long as she's known him. Her Papa's always asked her why she doesn't date Finn, of all people, and she would normally laugh about something like it, but she doesn't this time.

She tells them about Brody and how he's currently in _Les Miserables _and how he loves Ella and they get along so well together, and they laugh and congratulate her for finding a boyfriend, considering it's her first in over a year.

They seem happy about Brody, but they're the happiest about Ella. She tries to write it off as them simply being happy because they're finally grandparents, but she knows that's not why they love her so much - or, at least not the only reason why.

It's Finn.

:.:.:

Rachel's birthday lands on a Monday, and Finn tells her that he needs to go visit his mom in Ohio because she's gotten in a car accident and he needs to see her - but he apologizes and he takes Ella because he thinks that nothing will cheer his mother up more than her granddaughter, so Rachel's left alone on her birthday.

Kurt and Blaine and Puck and Quinn throw her a small birthday party at Puck and Quinn's, and she thinks about inviting Brody for a moment, but she doesn't. She's not exactly in a celebratory mood.

"You're twenty seven!" Kurt cheers from the kitchen as he emerges with a cake, twenty seven candles arranged around the cake, all glowing in the dark. Rachel looks up at him with a smile and Quinn and Blaine look at one another, smiling slightly.

Puck's busy on the couch watching a football game, and even though Quinn's coaxed him to come over to the table to have a piece of cake, he seems to ignore her for the most part.

"I don't think anything exciting comes with turning twenty seven," Blaine says, directing his smile to Rachel. "I think once you turn twenty five, they all get kind of bad from there on out."

Rachel laughs slightly and closes her eyes, making an attempt to blow out all of the candles on her cake. She does. She can thank her amazing breath support for that.

They cheer and applaud and Kurt takes the knife and starts to cut into her cake. She looks down at it and reads the 'Happy 27th Birthday, Rachel!' in pink icing scrawled across the top and smiles slightly to herself, because it's not horrible. Things could be a lot worse.

"I made sure that your cake was entirely dairy-free," Kurt says, carefully making sure that he cuts the biggest slice for her. "I found this recipe from someone at work who just went vegan and she said that this cake is delicious, so if it's not... you can't blame me." Rachel giggles and takes her plate with her slice of cake on it from him, picking up her fork.

"Well, it looks lovely," she says, pulling her ponytail over her shoulder. "I think you did a great job."

Quinn turns over her shoulder and looks at Puck, scowling slightly. "Puck, wish Rachel a happy birthday," she tells him, casting him a glare.

He turns away from the television set for a moment and looks at Rachel, not bothering to smile. Rachel knows it's not directed at her, however.

"Happy birthday, Rach," he says off-handedly, turning back to the television set. Quinn looks back to her with a frown stuck to her face, grabbing for her glass of wine and downing it faster than she had been earlier.

"It's fine," Rachel says, reaching out for Quinn's hand and smiling softly. "Really, it's nothing. I'm only turning twenty seven, anyway."

Rachel reaches into her purse and pulls out her phone, looking down at it with a smile. Finn's sent her a picture of him and Ella together, along with the caption 'Happy Birthday, Mom - I'm nine months old today!' "Oh, look what Finn sent me," she gushes, sliding the phone across the table and allowing Blaine, Kurt and Quinn to look at the picture of the two of them together. "Ella turns nine months old today."

They all smile and Kurt picks the phone up from the table. "She really is adorable, Rach," he says, laughing. Rachel smiles and he hands her phone back to her,making her slip it back intoo her purse on the floor. "I'm excited to meet your boyfriend," he teases, nudging her in the side. Rachel just smirks to herself and falls into her seat more, beginning to poke at her slice of cake. She suddenly isn't very hungry anymore.

"Yeah, he's... he's really great, Kurt."

"Well, I'm just excited for New Year's," Blaine says, beaming. "It's going to be great."

:.:.:

Rachel's waiting for Finn to come upstairs so she can finish packing for Ella, because he has her right now along with most of her things that she's going to need for the trip to the Hamptons. There's something about the trip that she's not as excited about anymore, but she doesn't know what it is. Rachel's normally good at analyzing situations and being able to determine what's right and what's wrong with whatever's going on in her life, but she's not fairing as well this time around.

She pulls Ella out of her high chair and finds her coat, beginning to fasten the buttons against her chest and smiling down at her. No matter what happens to her nowadays, it seems that no matter how sad or worried she can get about something, she'll always have Ella right there next to her.

"Hey," she hears Finn from the doorway. Rachel turns around and looks at him, smiling.

"I was just waiting for you to come up so I could finish packing up her stuff." She walks up to him and hands him Ella for a moment, turning back around to collect more of her things and to finish putting them together. "I'm so glad you're finally here."

"Yeah, um, I was just kind of tired," he says, adjusting his coat on his shoulders. "Santana's over, and we were up pretty late last night..." His voice trails off and Rachel nods along with him, already knowing where he's going with this. She doesn't need to know anything else. "Anyway, um, are you almost set to go?"

"Yeah," she says, turning back around to look at him. "I'm just waiting for Brody, and..." She pauses, changing subjects. "Are you going to come with us, or-"

"No, we rented a car." She makes a face. "We just figured that we'd enjoy the drive, stop and see some sights, you know. She's never been to the Hamptons before, so it'll be fun for us to just see everything together."

Rachel smiles and wheels her suitcase out from the kitchen, looking over at Ella with a smile. "Oh, well, that'll be great. I'm sure she'll love it, Finn, really. I'm excited to meet her, too." She sighs and starts to go off on a tangent. "Do you think she'll like me, or do you-"

She's interrupted by someone trying to buzz their way up to her apartment, causing Finn to turn around and try to answer it. He starts off with a greeting but Rachel quickly rushes over and nudges him out of the way, handling the problem for herself.

"That's Brody," she says, turning over her shoulder to look at Finn. She looks back at the intercom and presses the button, beginning to speak. "Hi, sweetie, that was just Finn, my friend - Ella's dad, that was Ella's dad. I'll buzz you right up, okay?"

Finn starts to laugh and looks down at Ella, a dumb smile stuck to his face. "So I take it you're going to be busy," he says, handing Ella to her. she extended her hands out and gropes for Rachel as she intercepts her, bouncing her in her arms and kissing her on the top of the head. "I'll just head out," he says, turning back to the door again. "I'm sure you and your boy toy are going to have a great time on the way over, so I wouldn't want to interfere."

"Oh, no, you're not doing anything," she says, tipping her head up to look at him. "It's just... it gets crowded in here when there are tons of people here, and-"

"Last time I checked, three people didn't define 'a ton,' Rach."

She rolls her eyes and pushes her suitcase over so it's closer to the doorway. "Okay, fine. Just... I'm sure Santana's looking for you, that's all." She knows that there's something uncomfortable stuck between them now. She doesn't know why, and she can't understand why they haven't confronted it yet, because they've always talked about _everything_ that's ever bothered them before, so this is different for her. For both of them, really.

"No, I get it. I'll just get out of your hair and I'll see you guys there, alright?" He smiles and Rachel smiles back at him, picking up Ella's hand in her own and using it to wave at Finn. She presses a kiss to the top of her head and giggles, watching as Finn walks over to the door.

Her smile quickly fades, however, as he opens the door.

"You must be Brody," Finn says at the door, trying to hide his surprise. Rachel smiles again and walks past Finn, nudging him to the side slightly as she intercepts Brody in an embrace.

"Hi," she says, still managing Ella in one arm while tending to Brody with the other. Finn can hear them laugh with one another and it makes his stomach churn. He watches as Ella seems to get excited over seeing Rachel's boyfriend and Rachel hands her to him, feeling his face drop when he watches how well she seems to respond to him.

Rachel takes a moment to turn around and look back at Finn, her arms still wrapped around Brody's arm. "Oh, Finn, um, this is Brody," she says, smiling brightly. "I, um... well, I always figured you guys would meet later once we got there, but I guess not!" Finn takes note of her nervous smile and laughs to himself.

"Hey," Brody says, extending a hand for Finn to take in his own. They exchange pleasantries and Rachel stands between them like a moderator, Finn able to sense how nervous she is simply by looking at her.

(Part of him wonders if he's the only one that can read Rachel and can tell that she's not happy just by looking at her, but then he realizes that it's childish and immature to think like that and ignores it.)

"So, are you guys driving over together, or...?" Finn shoves his hands in his pockets once he's done shaking Brody's hand.

"Yeah," Brody responds, causing Finn to look away from Rachel after trying to gauge her response. "I rented a car and we're leaving together in - what, Rach, like half an hour?"

Rachel nods and Finn turns his head to look over at her, who seems to be more preoccupied with looking at her boyfriend than she is with the conversation she's having with him.

"Oh, um, yeah," she says, snapping out of her daze. Finn rolls his eyes, but she doesn't notice. "Finn, we were going to leave pretty soon, too, so if you could just..." Her voice trails off and she makes a face, and he already knows that she wants him to leave. He doesn't really see why - she's taking Ella and he can't see Rachel choosing to make out with her boyfriend with their daughter in the same room, but he obliges anyway. He doesn't want to start an argument with her. They haven't had a real one of those in years.

"Well, I'll see you guys there, then," Finn says, slowly backing out of the doorway. "Nice meeting you, Brody."

They all smile and Ella waves at Finn as he leaves, causing Rachel to start giggling and looking down at Ella in Brody's arms, her eyes wide and mouth hung open in surprise.

:.:.:

"So, where's Finn and his mysterious girlfriend?" Kurt asks Rachel that night. They've all shown up in time for dinner and after unpacking and settling into their rooms, and Kurt, Quinn and Rachel have all settled into the kitchen to start preparing dinner for the night. (Blaine's offered to help, but Kurt just laughs and tells him to sit with Charlotte after a kiss on the cheek.) "I was hoping that maybe she'd be here in time to help with dinner, or at least babysit."

Quinn laughs under her breath and grabs the glass of wine she has on the counter (her third already since they've gotten there, and they haven't even had dinner yet). "I think she'd make a better babysitter, whoever she is," she says, rolling her eyes. "I mean, Blaine's wonderful, Kurt, but I don't know what to do with Puck anymore when it comes to watching Beth." She's lowered her voice and takes another sip of wine, Rachel grabbing the glass from her and setting it down on the counter.

"Rachel's boyfriend is awfully good with Ella, though," Kurt says, smiling to himself. Rachel turns over her shoulder from her position at the sink and looks at the two of them together on the couch, a smile spreading across her face. Kurt's right, after all. He does do surprisingly well with Ella for only having known her for a few weeks. Kurt emerges from the kitchen and claps his hands, making some announcement about how it's time for all of the kids to be put to bed because dinner's going to be ready in a few minutes. Rachel grabs the bowl of salad she's been working on and starts bringing it to the table, Quinn tapping her on the shoulder and stopping her before she can reach the dining room table.

"Hey," she says, taking a sip of her wine and finishing it off. "Rach, I just wanted to tell you how great of a job you and Finn are doing with Ella," she says, smiling sweetly. "I mean, I have to admit, when you guys had told Puck and I that you were going to... well, have a kid together, we were pretty doubtful. But now, when I see you with her... I feel like you guys really made the right decision."

Rachel smiles and sets the bowl of salad down on the table before wrapping Quinn in an embrace. "Aww, Quinn, you don't have to say something like that," she says, shaking her head. "Especially when you know it's not true."

They both start laughing and Quinn turns around to refill her wine glass. Rachel hasn't been keeping count, but she knows that this is somewhere around glass three or four. "Speaking of which, where is Finn? I thought he said he'd be here in time for dinner."

"He and Santana rented a car and decided to drive themselves," she says, rolling her eyes slightly. "Although, I can't imagine why it would take so long to drive from the city to the Hamptons, so I don't-"

She gets cut off by the front door swinging open, cold air and snow blowing in.

"Hey," Finn says, walking inside and kicking off his boots. Rachel turns her head and sees him standing there, wrapped up in his coat and hat (the one that she knit him a few years ago for Christmas), smiling at everyone. She's not very concerned about Finn, however, and is more interested about the girl that he's brought with him. She stands up on her toes and slips on the flooring slightly, because she's only wearing black nylons, and she still can't get a good look at her.

She really hates being short sometimes.

Everyone starts chattering and walking up towards Finn, smiling and embracing him and shaking hands with his girlfriend, all things Rachel knows that she'll be the last to do. She's his best friend, and she's probably the most important person in his life that's there right now - save for Ella, because she's his daughter, and Santana, probably, because Rachel isn't having sex with him. It's not because she's selfish or arrogant. She just knows that she and Finn have a different relationship than anyone else.

Quinn tells her that she's going to go introduce herself and Rachel just nods, feigning a smile before turning around and grabbing the wine glass that Quinn's left on the dining room table and tipping her head back, finishing it off. She figures that if it's there, she can use the liquid courage for the moment. She feels like she's going to need it.

"Hi," she ultimately says as she approaches them, everyone else going back to what they had been doing earlier to prepare for dinner. She watches Finn as he looks at her and she keeps her eyes trained on Santana, smiling brightly. She extends her hand out for her. "You must be Santana."

Santana smiles and takes Rachel's hand in her own. "Oh, yeah, I- you're Rachel, right?"

She nods. "Yeah, I-I am." Finn looks at both of them nervously.

"Finn's told me so much about you," Santana says, fixing her hair. "I feel like I know you already."

Rachel smiles and offers to take their coats to their room. She just wants to escape all of the uncomfortableness of the entire situation, if just for a few moments. Besides, it could be worse. She could be there alone, anyway.

:.:.:

They eat dinner and all introduce themselves to one another and exchange pleasantries, ending with everyone talking about how great dinner was and how they should go to bed early to get enough sleep for the day ahead of them (which won't consist of much, really, just a lot of eating).

Rachel watches Ella for most of the night because really, she feels like Finn should have this opportunity to introduce Santana to everyone, but it isn't until she and Brody get to their bedroom that she remembers that she should ask Finn what the plan is for the evening. They never really figured it out.

She knocks on his door and tries to balance Ella in her arms, slipping up slightly. She's getting to the point where she's getting too big for Rachel to hold for very long. Finn's got a wider wingspan and is much stronger than her, so he'll survive. She hasn't been fairing quite as well.

He opens it up and he's already in his pajamas. Rachel can see Santana getting ready for bed behind him.

"Hey, um, we never really - did we ever figure out who got Ella tonight? I mean, I can do tonight and you can do tomorrow, or-"

Finn leans against the frame of the door and looks down at Rachel, lowering his voice down to a whisper. "Yeah, hey, could you take her tonight? I just... Santana and I have been in that car all day, and, well..." His voice trails off and she suppresses an eyeroll. "I'll take her tomorrow night, alright?"

Rachel looks down at Ella and sighs, fixing her hair. "Yeah, yeah... I get it. That's totally fine. For sure."

Fifteen minutes later and she's lying in bed with Brody, both of them trying to keep a loud enough conversation going so as to drown out the noises coming from Finn and Santana's room.

She turns over on her side and looks at Brody, propping her head up on her hand.

"Aneurysm or cancer?"

Brody looks over at her, confused.

"What?"

"Like, aneurysm or cancer? Which one would you choose?"

Brody still has a confused look on his face. He shakes his head for a moment, trying to clear his head. "Um... neither?"

"No," Rachel says, nudging him in the arm. "You don't understand. You have to choose." She slides in closer to him, a smile growing on her face. "Like, an aneurysm is really fast, painless... but with cancer, you get time, you get to plan and say your goodbyes, maybe write a memoir..."

Brody sits up in bed and looks down at her, furrowing his brow together. "Um, cancer," he says, wrapping an arm over her shoulders. "Because, you know, nowadays they have medicine that you can take and chemo, so you can detect it early and-"

"No, you don't get it," she says, snapping slightly. "You're dying."

Neither of them say anything for a while and Rachel shifts over in bed so that Brody's arm isn't wrapped around her anymore, lips tightly pursed together. "Look, it's nothing," she says, waving a hand in the air. "It's just something Finn and I do, and... yeah." She musters up a small smile and feels his hand snake around her waist. She giggles softly and leans into him, her nose pressing into his chest. "I'm tired," she says, eyes falling shut. "And besides, we have a big day tomorrow, and I just... I'm really tired."

She isn't necessarily sleepy. Just tired.


	8. VIII

They all sit down to dinner on New Year's Eve later than they would for any other dinner, but it's only because Kurt had trouble getting all of the ingrediatents for the night together and it gives everyone time to put the kids to bed. Rachel sits next to Brody on one side of the table and Finn and Santana sit next to one another across from them, smiling and happy.

She knows that she shouldn't feel envious of Finnand the relationship he has with Santana, because he's her best friend. She knows that you're supposed to be proud of the accomplishments of your friends and everything, but there's a part of her that still can't be proud and happy for him with her whole heart. The jealous feeling that she feels in the pit of her stomach is illogical, anyway. She has Brody, and they're happy with one another.

Kurt walks into the dining room with two platters of food in his hands, an excited smile stuck on his face. "Alright, this plate is for Rachel, and the other is for the rest of us," he says upon setting the pasta dishes down on the table. Rachel rolls her eyes and smiles atKurt. "Other than that, everything's ready!" He claps his hands together and takes a seat next to Blaine, giving him a peck on the cheek. The sounds of silverware clattering and plates scraping against one another fill the room, Kurt's eyes falling on Santana.

"Oh, my God, your dress is wonderful," he says, pressing a hand to his chest. They've all managed to dress up slightly for the event; it's tradition, and Finn, of course, being a dutiful boyfriend, informed his girlfriend about everything. "I mean, I'm sure anything you wear automatically looks amazing, but really, you look great."

Santana smiles and looks at Kurt, laughing softly. "Well, thank you," she says, grabbing Finn's hand underneath the table. Rachel can feel her face grow warm. "Any time I get the chance to wear something other than a pantsuit, I get pretty excited, so it's nice to be complimented on something that's not supposed to make me look like Nancy Grace." The table starts to laugh and Rachel just smiles politely, pursing her lips together nervously.

"Well, it's good that Finn's finally got himself a girl that can dress herself correctly," Kurt adds, laughing. Finn rolls his eyes. "The last girl he introduced to all of us looked like she got dressed in the dark every morning."

"I think you have excellent taste in women," Rachel says, piping up from across the table. Finn tips his head up from his plate and looks at Rachel, who's smiling at him. "I mean, you picked me to have your kid, so I can't see why you'd think that Finn would ever have poor taste in women, Kurt." Everyone laughs again and Rachel takes a sip of wine, a smile spreading across her face. She takes the bowl of pasta that Kurt's indicated as her own and offers some of it to Brody once she's finished.

"I've always wondered how that worked out," Brody says, reaching for his glass of water. "Like, you know, the whole baby thing. Was it something you took a blood oath on when you were drunk and felt like you had to follow through, or..."

"It was Finn's idea," Rachel says, looking over at Finn with a smile. He laughs and looks at her with an equally bright smile, a dimple forming in his cheek. "Well, I mean, I helped with everything, clearly, but he was the one who brought it up in the first place."

"It was something we _both _thought up," Finn adds. "We kind of thought that it would be easier to just have a kid and avoid the whole get-married-and-get-a-divorce situation." Brody nods along to everything he's says and Rachel tips her head up to look at her boyfriend, smiling sweetly.

"It's kind of a middle finger if you ask me," Puck says from the head of the table, causing Rachel and Finn to turn their head to face him, eyes wide in shock. "I mean, way to appreciate all of te people who actually chose to be responsible and get married and have a kid the normal way, right guys?"

There's a long pause and the only sound that fills the room is that of utencisl scraping against plates.

"This food is delicious," Santana interjects, a wave of relief crashing over the room. "Really, it's - Kurt, right?" He nods, smiling pridefully. "It's great." The rest of the table echoes her and the uncomfortable air is cleared for a moment, Santana looking up from her plate and casting Rachel a knowing glance.

"I was just curious, that's all," Brody says, resting a hand on Rachel's knee under the table, his thumb brushing against the harsh black nylons she's wearing. "I mean, what are you guys going to tell Ella when she gets older? You can't just keep all of this a secret from her forever."

"Well, Rachel and I talked about all of this kind of stuff before we got everything together and actually started to - you know, _have _her, and, you know, we just figured that it would be something we would explain to her when the time's right."

"And, you know, I really don't think it's _that _alternative of a lifetsyle," Rachel adds, turning to face Brody slightly. "I mean, I grew up with a more alternative set of parents, and I turned out just fine." She smiles. "I think that everything regarding the relationship between Finn and I will be just great."

"That's so brave of you," Santana says, taking a stab at her salad. "I mean, to just go and have a kid like that. Like, when I'm at work, I see so many people having kids just to save marriages and ending up with a miserable outcome, and you guys had one to avoid all of the mess that comes along with being married and having kids." Rachel smiles and looks over at Finn, but he seems more concerned with his girlfriend. "I mean, not to knock you guys who are married with kids here, but I think you two really figured it out." She laughs to herself for a moment, swinging Finn's hand slightly. "It's like you beat the system."

Puck scoffs from across the table, folding his arms over his chest. Quinn turns to look at him, giving him aknowing glare.

"The truth is, they just didn't want to end up like us," Quinn adds, stirring her wine glass in her hand. She finishes off another glass and reaches for the bottle across the table once more. Puck rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his drink, reclining back even further in his chair. "Wonder why?"

"I think you've had too much to drink," he says, sighing deeply. Quinn shakes her head adamantly and takes a sip of her newly-refilled glass.

"No, I haven't," she says in protest, her words starting to slur. Puck sighs again and pinches the bridge of his nose, Finn watching as he appears frustrated. His stomach starts to twist into a knot and tries his best to ignore it.

"Well, I mean, that's all great," Brody says, starting the conversation up again, much to Rachel and Finn's dismay. "But, I mean, how do you tell your kid that their parents want to see other people right away?"

Rachel chews on her lip and looks back at Finn, furrowing her brow. "Well, I mean, we never really talked about that specifically," she says, focusing more on the food that's on her plate than what Brody's saying. "Right, Finn? Like, we just figured that we would-"

"That we would just cross that bridge when we get to it," he adds, hoping that he's saved her. He doesn't understand why they're doing this.

"Right," Puck adds, his voice bitter. "Because you know, when you decide to have a kid, it's probably a good idea to have some of these key discussions." He throws his napkin down on the table. "You know, sign a prenup or something. It's not like you need to be careless about everything. It's just a life." Quinn looks down into her lap, face flushing.

"Well, I think we've kind of proved how great everything's worked out," Finn adds, looking back at Puck. "Ella's a great kid."

The table echoes his thoughts and Kurt laughs.

"And an amazing fashion sense. All thanks to Finn, I'm sure." Rachel rolls her eyes and laughs nervously.

"Yeah, but how many parents have you met with kids that don't say that they're the greatest ever?" Santana looks up at the table. "I mean, I'm only talking because I see it at work all of the time, but every parent we have walk in says that their kid is the greatest ever, even if they've burned a house down or killed the family dog. I think you're morally obligated to love your kid and think that they're the greatest."

Kurt smiles. "What about you, Santana. Do you ever want kids?"

"No," she says, jumping on his words. "I mean, I think people that have kids are great - I'm not one of those people that thinks it's wrong to have a kid or anything, but I just know that it's not for me. I'm never home and I have to be able to leave town whenever, and having a kid just wouldn't fit into my lifestyle." She smiles and looks at Finn. "Ella's enough for me right now."

Rachel chooses not to respond to what she's said, feeling her blood start to boil.

"How are you two going to deal with this?" Puck asks again, laughing. "I mean, things aren't always going to be as 'awesome' as you say they are now."

"You know, I think they're going to do just fine," Blaine says. "There are so many kids with unconventional parent situations, like Rachel said before - we always have to remind Charlotte about what she should say if anyone ever asks why she has two dads. I really don't think it's any different."

"You guys are fucked," Puck says under his breath, still laughing to himself. The entire table goes silent and Quinn's face is bright red. "I mean, look at Finn. This is, what, buddy, the longest relationship you've been in? And what's it been, a few months?"

"Alright," Finn says, interrupting him. "You know, Puck, this is the happiest I've ever been," he adds, Santana's eyes trained on him. "And people change, you know. I mean, look at you. This is like, what, the sixth Scotch you've had tonight?"

"No, no," he says, leaning back in his chair again and laughing to himself. "I'm just saying, Rachel's friend Brody brings up some really interesting questions here. You guys didn't think any of this through when you had your kid, did you? I mean, what are you supposed to tell her when she comes home from school one day and doesn't understand why both of her parents never loved each other? How are you going to explain to her that you worked out this little arrangement with Rachel just so you two could fuck hotter people?"

The rest of the table just sits there in shock, silent. There isn't much else to say about the matter.

"Puck, do you really think you of all people should be handing out parenting advice?" Rachel looks down into her lap. "Do you really think Beth's doing that well with you always handing her off to Quinn every time she cries or does something else that you're too concerned to deal with? Or how she has to spend every waking minute around two people who fucking _hate _each other?"

"Hey," Kurt interjects, his voice soft. "Guys, come on. It's New Year's-"

"No, no, I'm not finished." Finn throws his napkin down on his plate and turns over in his chair so that he's looking at Puck square on. "You really think that we haven't thought this through?" Puck scoffs. "You think that we don't love each other?" Rachel still can't bring herself to look up at him. "You know, I've loved this girl for almost ten years," he says, slamming a hand down on the table. Rachel looks up from her lap and across the table at Finn, her mouth hanging open slightly. "I know everything there is to know about her. I know about all of the times she's accidentally eaten meat and then gone on a five hour diatribe about how she feels horrible, and I know about all of the times when she's eaten meat on purpose when she was drunk because all she could talk about was how badly she wanted a McDonald's burger. I know that she's honest and won't even jaywalk because she's afraid that she'll get in trouble for it. She never sneaks her own candy into the movie theatre and she always, always tells people what they really look like in something even if they don't want to hear it. I know that we have the same values. We both laugh at the same stuff, and we believe in the same things. I know that if she's ever paralyzed from the neck down, she wants me to pull the plug - and I will." He pauses for a moment and looks at Puck, who seems stunned silent. "I know everything about her, and I'm there with her for the entire thing - no matter what she chooses to do. So you tell me, Puck. What better woman could I have chosen to have my child? What more responsible choice could I have made?"

No one says anything. Rachel looks up from her lap and stares at Finn, eyes wide. She doesn't know what to do or what to say. She feels like she doesn't know anything anymore.

"So whatever happens, in the next month, or year, or ten years, we're going to be just fine," Finn adds, still furious. "Seriously."

Puck rolls his eyes and pushes himself away from the table, scoffing. "You know what, fine." He stands up and hovers over the table, causing Quinn to fall into the chair and do everything in her power to ignore him. "Because you know, Finn, you think that everything's always going to be great for you. You've always been the one that's tried to get to have your fun without suffering any of the consequences that come along with it. And if you think that you and Rach are going to be 'BFFs' forever and you're going to be happy for the rest of your life with your fucking lawyer blow-up doll of a girlfriend, then you are fucking wrong."

The entire room is stunned into silence.

"I mean, Quinn and I, we used to do it in the bathroom of the restaurant because we couldn't wait until we got home." Quinn's face turns bright red and Rachel reaches underneath the table to touch her hand sympathetically, watching as her mouth falls open in surprise. "She gave me a fucking blowjob at Taco Bell!"

Rachel bites down on her lip and watches tears begin to well in Quinn's eyes.

"But you know what, good luck to you guys," Puck continues, grabbing his drink and starting to walk away from the table. "I can't wait to see how it all turns out."

He turns the corner and a door slams down the hall, causing Quinn to jump.

No one says anything. There really isn't anything else left to be said, anyway.

:.:.:

Puck sleeps on the couch that night. No one really says anything about it and Finn and Rachel don't have much of an exchange after dinner. There's a small part of Rachel that wants to thank him for sticking up for her, but she knows that if she even does so much as mention the entire fiasco that happened over dinner that she'll have to bring up everything that Finn had said, and she still can't wrap her mind around that yet.

He loves her. And, of course, she knows that he loves her - he had told her that he loved her once when he was drunk and she helped him walk back to his dorm when they were in college, and he's told her that he loves her when she cooks for him and tells him that her cooking is much better than the food he orders in all of the time, and now he's told everyone that he loves her - only this is different. This is him professing his love to her in a way that she doesn't really understand.

He loves Santana, of course. She knows that he loves her and would do anything for her, because their relationship had moved past the purely physical part of their relationship. That's where she is with Brody, and there's a part of her that feels like she'll always be that way with Brody.

Of course, he's never told Santana that he loves her. He would tell her, because they tell each other everything.

She knows that he and Santana are probably asleep by now, and she really has no excuse to knock on his door tonight because he has Ella (and Brody's already complained to her about how badly he wants her to come back to bed right now), but she wants to talk to him. She _needs_ to talk to him.

Finn opens the door, his voice soft. "Hey," he says, looking down at her. He's not smiling. "Santana's asleep, and I-"

"I need to talk to you," she says, fixing her hair. "Just... not here. Outside, or on the roof, or I don't - I don't know." She's flustered. "We just need to talk."

Finn laughs softly and looks down at her. "Alright. Just let me grab my coat.

:.:.:

They end up sitting outside on the porch that overlooks the now frosty ocean, their warm breath accenting the cold air. It's not quite midnight yet, and it feels odd, because every other New Year's Eve they've all been awake and celebrating together. Obviously, this year is different.

Finn settles down into one of the deck chairs and dusts the snow off of it before sitting next to Rachel. "I bet you I already know what you want to talk about," he says, laughing bitterly. Rachel starts to shiver in her coat and looks over at Finn, unable to smile. "Look, Rach, I'm so sorry about everything that happened tonight," he starts, shaking his head. "Puck was being a prick, and I just... I felt bad about everything, so I snapped. I didn't know he was going to say any of the things he said."

"It's not that," she says, shaking her head. "I just..." Her voice trails off and Finn looks down at her, feeling his chest tighten. He knows that she's nervous. He knows Rachel; just like he's said earlier. He knows when she's happy and he knows when she's sad, and he knows how to read her. Now, he's just unsure if he can't read her because of the way he feels about everything right now.

"Do you remember that girl you dated in college? Jenna something, or whatever her name was?" Finn nods. "Like, remember how you told me that you had fallen in love with her like, halfway through our sophomore year?" Finn nods and laughs slightly. "Do you love me like you loved her?"

"Rachel, that's kind of-"

"Do you love me like you loved her?"

He doesn't love Rachel in the same way. Jenna was just a girl he had met in college, and he did love her when they were dating, but only because it was one of the first relationships he had been in and he was quick to fall for anyone, because he wanted someone. Rachel's different, and he wants her to know that she is. He loves Rachel, and he doesn't quite know how to put it into words. He thinks that he's done a good job at doing so at dinner, but now, when he sees her sitting out here in the snow, he doesn't know how to construct any kind of sentence anymore.

"No, Rach, I just... you're different, alright?"

She turns to look at him, eyes wide. "So you love me, just not as much as you loved a girl you only dated for a few years?" She looks down at her lap. "I don't understand."

Finn sighs and looks away from her. "Like, I loved Jenna, Rachel, but there's something different about you. You're not like, someone I would want to have as a girlfriend - but, like, I love you. You're the only consistent person I've had my entire life, so I feel like I love you."

Rachel looks at him, feeling tears begin to sting at her eyes. "I just... I was confused," she says, sniffling. "I mean, with everything that Puck had said and judging by how upset you got, I just didn't know what you meant, and I-"

"We've always loved each other, Rachel," he says, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She sighs. "You can love someone without falling in love with them."

"Yeah," she says, sighing deeply. "I g-guess you can, can't you?"

"Just know that we're not making a mistake, alright?" He smiles and looks down at her, causing her to look back up at him with a sigh. "I think we're being pretty smart, actually."

She sighs and rests her head against his shoulder for a moment, letting her eyes fall shut. Maybe she can adjust to the feeling of Finn just loving her and not falling in love with her. It leaves all of the complications out, anyway. No sex, no feelings, just love.

And at the same time, she feels like that's all she wants from him.


End file.
